


The Future Is X-Rated

by SapphireSoul102



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Alien/Human Relationship, Confused About Feelings, Embarrassment, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, First Time, Fluff and Humor, High School, Humor, Just Lots of Awkward, Long-Term Relationship, M/M, Post-Canon, Romantic Fluff, Sexy Times, Smut, Sweet/Hot, Time Travel, ZaDr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-10
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-02-08 07:34:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1932216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireSoul102/pseuds/SapphireSoul102
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zim travels two years into future to see if he’s conquered Earth yet. What Zim sees is the last thing he expected, and he tries to ensure that future doesn't happen. Tries and fails, that is...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Stupid Dib-pig…” Zim grumbled to himself while he made some final adjustments to his latest device. “Finished!” he declared in triumph. “Now, let’s see the carnage Zim has unleashed upon this filthy planet!”

Setting the coordinates on the time machine to Dib’s house, two years in the future, Zim expected to see destruction. He eagerly pressed the button and when he showed up in the future, everything looked completely… normal? “How can this be?! The Dib-beast is still alive?” Zim wandered about the house until he heard strange sounds coming from upstairs, sounds he’s never heard before. The curious alien crept up the steps and paused beside the half-open door. “Ahh… Zim…” _That was Dib’s voice!_ Zim cautiously peeked into the bedroom and saw something terrible. Underneath Dib was a green alien with black antennae and ruby eyes.

Zim gasped loudly before slapping his hands over his mouth to keep himself quiet. He frantically pressed the ‘return’ button on his time machine, only to hear it say “Recharge complete in two minutes.” Future Zim’s eyes glanced toward the door. “Did you hear that?” _No! Oh, Almighty Tallest, that’s my voice! It’s really me in there!_ Zim’s mind raced with terror. Future Dib looked at the doorway, squinting without his glasses on. “Uh, no…”

Zim breathed a sigh of relief. Then future Dib spoke again.

“But what I _do_ wanna hear is you screaming…”

“Ah! Dib!” Zim’s future self moaned, the bed creaking with each movement. Zim had heard enough. He ran down the stairs with his pak’s spiderlegs and shut the front door behind him, disgusted and more confused than he’d ever been in his life.

“Charging complete,” the time travel device announced. Zim pressed the button and ended up back in his base, in the present. Gir was playing with a stuffed moose doll when Zim appeared in the lab. “Master! Do I get the moooon?!” Gir ran around excitedly. “No, Gir! No Earth, no moon!” Zim snapped, and the little robot plopped onto the floor with a frown. The disturbed Irken paced back and forth. “The future was just terrible! I can’t even _believe_ what I saw!”

“Were there flyin’ monkeys n’ stuff!?” Gir laughed insanely. Zim facepalmed. “No! It was much worse! The Dib-human and Zim were-- in _bed_ together!” Zim cringed in disgust at the mental image.

“You must’ve been reeeeal sleepy!”

“We weren’t sleeping, Gir!”

Gir tilted his head in confusion. “We were… _mating_ ,” Zim shuddered at the thought of being that close to Dib. “Ooooooh…” Gir stared blankly before running around in a circle yelling “IMMA MAKE SAMMICHES!” and bolting out of sight, leaving Zim to stew in his disgusted feelings. “I cannot let that happen…”


	2. Chapter 2

The next day Zim went to High Skool as usual. He had more or less adopted the lifestyle of a human student. Zim grabbed some books out of his locker and headed over to his first class, blending in with the sea of hormone-filled adolescents crowding the hall. Zim had grown some over the years, but was still considered short in comparison to average human males.

Dib, now seventeen years old, well exceeded the average height and was no longer concerned about Zim taking over the planet. Even though the two hardly saw each other since they only had a few classes together, Dib was still fascinated by the Irken, and it was always fun to tease him about never conquering the Earth.

The school day crept along until the lunch bell finally rang, sending a stampede of hungry teens to the cafeteria. Dib sat at the same table as usual, across from Gaz and her girlfriend, Peg, who were playing on their new Game Slave 3’s. “How’d you do that giant machete-scythe attack?” Peg asked, watching in awe as Gaz slaughtered hundreds of vampire pig zombies with a single blow. “That’s my little secret,” Gaz smirked. “Bitch…” Peg grumbled. The girls glanced at each other and smiled, Peg breaking into a fit of quiet giggles.

Dib quirked a smile and took a bite of the disgusting cafeteria food. It was nice to see his little sister happy with her girlfriend, but sometimes it made him wonder if he would ever find love. In High Skool, Dib felt like even more of an outcast than before, with no real friends, even though he’d shut up about all the alien stuff. Dib sighed. It sucked to be him. He was lonely. Today, however, Dib’s gloomy train of thought was interrupted when someone flicked his scythe-like lock of hair that refused to obey the laws of physics. “Huh?” Dib turned around and saw Zim standing with his arms crossed.

“Meet me at the flagpole after school, Dib-thing. There is something… we need to discuss.”

Dib raised an eyebrow in confusion. “What? Can’t you just tell me what it is now?”

“No! Not in front of the other stink-children. It’s too… personal.” Zim felt rather awkward when the horrible memories of the future popped in his head. He took a step back and glared at Dib, trying not to blush. “Well? Will you speak to Zim after school?”

Peg briefly glanced up from her Game Slave and narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “Guys, if you wanna make out with each other, I suggest hiding under the bleachers in the gym. No one ever looks there,” she stated flatly. Gaz cracked a smile. “Nice to know I’m not the only one thinking that.” The girls laughed at the horrified expressions on Dib’s face.

“Peg! Gaz! What the hell?!” Dib stood up, disturbed and annoyed. Zim was just confused. “Make… out?” he turned to Dib expectantly, “what is this ‘make out’ the Peg girl speaks of?”

Gaz and Peg looked stunned for a moment before cracking up. The tall boy scowled and abandoned his lunch, grabbing Zim by the arm and pulling him away from the table. “C’mon, Zim. Let’s go have that _talk_ now.”


	3. Chapter 3

The human and Irken left the cafeteria, Dib still pulling Zim by the arm. “Let go!” Zim yanked away from Dib’s grip. “You’re filthy meat bag of flesh is not worthy of physical contact with Zim!”

“Yeah, okay, _your highness_.” Dib rolled his eyes, voice dripping with sarcasm. “That’s how a being of my superiority _should_ be greeted, Dib-human,” Zim glared at the boy, who leaned back on the row of lockers lining the hallway. The incessant chatter from the cafeteria was muffled by the walls. Dib looked back and forth. No one was around to overhear them. “So what’d you wanna talk about, Zim?”

Zim’s antennae twitched under his wig as he heard footsteps coming from behind. Some random sophomore was walking from the cafeteria to the filthy lavatory. Zim snarled at the lack of privacy in the dreaded High Skool. He turned around and started walking away, only to have Dib put a hand on his shoulder and stop him. “What could be so damn important that you can’t tell me in an empty hallway?!” Dib snapped. “Just follow Zim and you will find out, Dib-pig.”

Dib facepalmed and sighed but followed the alien anyway. They walked through the empty hallways until they reached the gymnasium. Zim surveyed the gym to make sure no one was lingering in there, then he darted under the bleachers. “Really, Zim? You wanna hide under the bleachers and make out?” Dib laughed.

“WHAT DOES IT EVEN MEAN TO ‘MAKE OUT’?!” Zim shouted. Dib blushed and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “Well, it’s when two people, uhm…”

“NEVERMIND! I’ll find out myself. But right now, I’m going to make something very clear to you, Dib-beast…” Zim’s voice softened to a whisper. Dib raised an eyebrow and joined him under the bleachers to hear better. “Yeah? What’s that?”

Zim glared at Dib in the shadow of the bleachers. “No matter how much you beg, Zim will never be the Dib-thing’s love pig!”

“Wait… what? I never said--”

“Silence! Zim knows what you plan on doing!” he pointed accusingly at the human. 

“What are you talking about?! You think I actually like you? Gross!” 

“So you’re not attracted to Zim?” The Irken’s voice betrayed him: he sounded a tiny bit disappointed, which didn’t even make sense. Zim’s cheeks darkened, and Dib had the disturbing thought that the alien looked _cute_. Dib quickly recovered from his mental lapse.

“You’re kidding, right? Why would _I_ be attracted to _you_?”

“Because-- Zim is amazing!” Zim hesitated. Should he tell Dib what he saw in the future?

“Why are you even asking me about this nonsense?” Dib crossed his arms, the fluorescent light glinting off his glasses. Zim narrowed his eyes at the raven haired human. “Does the Dib _really_ want to know? The answer is… unpleasant…” More memories of their future selves flashed in Zim’s mind, especially the sounds. Zim shuddered.

“Yes! Tell me why!” Dib insisted. Zim glanced up at him. “Zim time travelled to the future and saw _us_!”

Dib didn’t make the connection, he just stared at Zim with a questioning look on his face.

“ _Together! We were together_!” Zim hissed in disgust. Dib blinked in disturbed disbelief. “That’s… not possible. We hate each other.”

“Zim knows this!”

“So why are you making stuff up about us in the future?! Ugh, you’re just screwing with me! I’m going back to lunch.”

Zim growled in anger at Dib’s defiance and roughly grabbed his wrist. “Zim is not screwing anything! Zim will _show_ you!” The agitated Irken extracted the small time machine from his pak and adjusted the settings before pressing the button. “Zim! Wai--”


	4. Chapter 4

It was too late. Zim and Dib ended up roughly two years in the future, at Dib’s house. They didn’t end up appearing outside Dib’s house as Zim intended; through a technical malfunction, they appeared in Dib’s small, dark bedroom closet.  
  
“Zim! What the hell are we doing in my closet?!” Dib whispered angrily.

“You shall see, Dib-beast.”  
  
Dib just about had a mini panic attack when he heard his bedroom door slam, followed by disturbing noises. He peaked through the flimsy slatted door of his closet and nearly stumbled backward when he realized what he saw. Future Dib had his hands on future Zim’s narrow hips, fingers gripping the flesh tightly as Zim raked his gloved fingers through Dib’s hair.  
  
“Zim? What-- what kind of trick is this?” Dib whispered to the alien crouching beside him in the closet. “This isn’t a trick, Dib-stink! This is the future!” Zim hissed quietly. “And it gets worse…  _so_  much worse,” he quivered.  
  
Zim and Dib watched hesitantly from the closet as their future selves looked into each other’s eyes with such desire that Dib could barely breath as he witnessed it. How could this be real? How on  _Earth_  could  _this_  ever happen?  
  
“Can we go back to the present now?!” Dib whispered harshly. This situation embodied awkwardness in its purest form, and Dib just couldn’t handle  _that_  much weird. “The time machine has to recharge first,” Zim replied.  
  
“How long does it take to recharge?” Dib sounded horrified. Zim grinned in the darkness as he realized what a glorious opportunity this was to humiliate the Dib-human. “Twelve minutes,” he whispered into Dib’s ear. Dib screamed internally. He sat down and pulled his knees up to his chest, on the verge of rocking back and forth in shock, but the rustling coming from outside the closet drew his attention. He peaked through the slatted door again. It was like a train wreck: he just couldn’t look away.  
  
The first thing to come off was future Zim’s disguise. His antennae flicked upward, dark magenta eyes shining in the dimly lit room. Future Dib smiled. “You look so much prettier like this,” he cooed to his lover, petting Zim’s antennae. “God, I love your eyes, Zim…”  
  
The Dib hiding in the closet wanted to vomit from hearing himself talk like that. Future Zim purred, closing his eyes as he leaned into the touch with a smile.  
  
“Pfft! I didn’t know Irkens purred!” Dib whispered, barely stifling a laugh. Zim was speechless. He didn’t know Irkens purred either until he just heard himself do it! “The Dib-pig will  _never_  make Zim  _purr_ , filthy human,” Zim whispered to Dib. “Then what’s happening out there, hmm?” Dib teased. Two could play at the game of embarrassment. Zim let out a low growl and glared at Dib in the darkness.  
  
This whole conversation was so fucked up.  
  
“Dib-stink… since we’re stuck in here, explain to Zim what the phrase ‘make out’ means,” Zim demanded quietly. Dib sighed and thought of the best way to explain it, then he remembered there were two eager demonstrators in his bedroom. Future Zim and Dib were now kissing deeply, pulling at each other’s clothes and avidly groping one another’s bodies.  
  
“That. That’s what it means to make out,” Dib whispered. Zim’s eyes widened. “That’s disgusting! Why would one do such a thing?! Listen to all the little slurpy noises!” Zim exclaimed in a whisper, still watching his future self pull off Dib’s clothes. Closet Dib shrugged. “It feels good. Or, that’s what I’ve heard, at least…” his thoughts trailed off as he watched his future self kiss Zim passionately, moaning softly against the alien’s mouth.  
  
Zim backed away from the door and leaned against the back of the closet, trying to ignore the noises coming from outside. He just couldn’t believe that something so disgusting could feel  _good_. Meanwhile Dib was still watching himself strip off future Zim’s Irken uniform.  
  
“How much longer ‘til it’s charged?” Dib hoped it was less than five minutes. Each second felt like an eternity in this closet. Zim glanced at the time machine, which was almost fully charged. “About eight minutes,” he lied with a smirk, shifting in the small closet to get more comfortable.  
  
Dib wondered just how much could happen in the next eight minutes as he watched his future self and Zim continue kissing. They were now down to their undergarments. Future Dib gently pushed Zim onto the edge of the bed before dropping to his knees in front of him.  
  
“Oh, dear lord, no…” Dib whispered. All the blood drain from his face. It was like watching a real life horror film. A pornographic horror film with a sexy alien invader who he might actually be attracted to.  
  
Future Dib rubbed a hand against Zim’s crotch, making the alien moan. “Want more?” Dib teased his mate, slipping his fingertips under the edge of Zim’s final piece of clothing. “Yessss… Zim wants  _everything_ , Dib-beast…” the alien spoke in a sultry tone, using a three-digited hand to push future Dib’s head closer to his lower parts.  
  
The Zim hiding in the closet was taken aback, cheeks darkening with embarrassment. “What is Zim saying?! Zim wants nothing from the filthy Dib-human!” he protested in an angry whisper, standing up and prying the slats of the door apart to get a better look.  
  
Dib didn’t say anything. He was too busy watching his future self strip Zim down to nothing and suck him hard, eagerly, like he was enjoying it. Dib felt disgusted but couldn’t stop watching his future self pleasuring his greatest enemy.  
  
Future Zim moaned, gripping the bed sheets and biting his lip. Closet Zim sat back down. He couldn’t believe the noises his future self was making. It made Zim wonder what sort of sensations could cause him to produce such a sound.  
  
On his planet, Irkens no longer mated to produce smeets. It was considered a dirty, revolting act to exchange bodily fluids in such an uncivilized fashion. The DNA from selected Irkens was simply used to create young in the smeeteries now. Some Irken pairs still mated the old fashioned way, but it was harshly frowned upon.  _But… why would they even mate if not for pleasure?_  Zim thought.  _It_  must  _feel good!_  
  
The alien’s eyes focused their attention on the Dib beside him in the closet, ocular implants allowing him to see in the darkness. He grinned and licked his lips, watching Dib watch their future selves in silent awe.  
  
For a moment Zim even allowed himself to imagine what it would be like to have Dib touch him like that. His nether regions started getting excited.  _Wait, no! No! NO!!!! This is what could make this horrible future come true, Zim! Stop thinking these horrible thoughts!_  The flustered alien mentally slapped himself.   
  
Zim shut his eyes tightly and forced himself to think of anything but Dib, which inevitably made him focus on the teenaged human even more. Dib also closed his eyes and tried to imagine what it would feel like to kiss  _someone_ , touch them, have sex with them… it made his teenage hormones go berserk, giving him an erection in record time.  
  
“Jesus shit fuck!” he swore in a whisper. “What’s wrong with you?” Zim questioned. “Uh, nothing, I just, uhm, got a splinter… from the floor,” Dib lied, badly.  
  
Zim narrowed his eyes at the human and noticed a bulge in the front of his pants. He then looked at Dib’s future self, who had the same odd bulge as he sucked Zim. Closet Dib silently thanked God that it was too dark in the closet to see anything clearly, then he remembered that Zim was an alien and could probably see in the dark, dammit! He squeezed his legs together and pulled his shirt down to cover his crotch, but Zim had already seen it.   
  
“The Dib is enjoying the show, hmmm?” Zim whispered like a perverted creep. “Shut up! It’s your fault we’re here in the first place, idiot!” Dib replied in a harsh whisper. “How much longer do we have to wait to go back to the present?” he asked. Closet Zim’s answer was cut off my a loud “MORE!” coming from his future self.  
  
Future Zim grabbed Dib’s scythe lock of hair and roughly tilted his head back to look him in the eyes. “Stop teasing, Dib! Zim wants more! Now!” the alien demanded. Future Dib smirked. “Heh, so impatient…” he got off his knees straddled Zim’s hips, shifting both of them further back on the bed.  
  
They had no idea their past selves were watching their every move. For all they knew, they were completely alone. And Zim never was the type to hold back when he wants something.  
  
Zim grabbed the waistband of Dib’s underwear and slid it down, chewing his bottom lip at the sight of Dib’s full length. Zim leaned forward and wrapped his long tongue around Dib’s erection, coating it with saliva to serve as lubrication before pulling Dib down on top of him and kissing the human passionately.  
  
“I want everything from you, Dib-beast,” he whispered against Dib’s lips, reaching down to position the tip of Dib’s length at his alien entrance. Zim moaned loudly as Dib slid inside, then started moving.  
  
From the closet, Dib and Zim watched as their future selves moaned and rocked against each other. Neither of them even knew what to say to embarrass one another at this point. It didn’t look like the first time their future selves did something like this, and they were clearly enjoying it.  
  
Future Dib moaned as he quickened the pace. “Aaaaahhh! So  _gooood_ , Dib!” Future Zim cried out in ecstasy, digging his claws into Dib’s back. Dib didn’t seem to mind even as blood started pooling around the tips of Zim’s claws.  
  
Closet Dib’s eyes widened, erection beginning to fade away. “The hell? What am I, a gay, masochistic xenophile?” Dib spoke his thoughts quietly, still watching from the closet.  
  
“SHUT THE HELL UP! WE’RE TRYING TO WATCH A MOVIE, ASSHOLES!” Gaz’s voice startled everyone in Dib’s bedroom. No one even heard her come upstairs. Future Zim frowned with a low growl. Future Dib sighed. “Yeah, yeah, okay!” he replied. “If I have to come back up here, I swear I’ll rip both your dicks off, then you won’t be so fuckin’ noisy all the time…” the purple haired teen snarled through the door before going back downstairs to watch a movie with Peg.  
  
“The Dib’s sister unit… is a terrifying creature…” the Zim hiding in the closet commented quietly. Dib nodded, then a thought occurred to him. “Wait, Gaz  _knows_  about us being together? Holy shit, then Zim’s literally my boyfriend!” Dib thought aloud, quietly of course. “It would appear so, Dib-stink…” Zim didn’t really know what to say.  
  
“Guess I gotta shut you up, Zim…” Future Dib whispered to his mate before keeping the alien’s mouth busy with a passionate kiss. They moved slower, more intimately than before. It was almost… sweet. Like they actually cared about each other.  
  
“The time machine is ready,” Zim declared, grabbing Dib by the wrist. “Let’s go, then.”


	5. Chapter 5

Zim and Dib returned to the present, appearing under the bleachers in the gym. Dib wobbled on his feet before regaining his mental equilibrium. “That… was the most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen…” declared the now sexually awakened human, not wanting to sound as curious as he actually was after seeing himself screw an alien, his worst enemy, at that.

“Agreed, Dib-beast,” Zim returned the time machine to his pak, still trying to process everything he just witnessed in the future. Dib blushed as he recalled how Zim called him ‘Dib-beast’ in bed, almost like a pet name. The school bell ringing interrupted both their thoughts.

Dib suddenly remembered he still had to finish the school day. “Dammit, I’m gonna be late for anatomy class!” The raven haired teen dashed off, but he stopped mid stride, turning to face the alien. “Oh, and Zim? If you really don’t want that future to happen, you could just move to another part of this planet, or try to kill me or something,” Dib said matter of factly, like those were the obvious choices, though he clearly wasn’t concerned.

The look on Zim’s face made it apparent that the alien hadn’t even considered those options. “Well, see you in math, I guess,” Dib commented awkwardly before exiting the gymnasium, leaving Zim standing alone under the bleachers. “But… where would Zim go?” The Irken asked himself aloud.

An unsettling feeling arose in his chest, an strange ache that bothered Zim much more than he cared to acknowledge. Sentiment wasn’t exactly a predominating Irken trait, especially for an invader such as himself. That reminded him, when was the last time he came up with and implemented any remotely successful plans to bring the human race to its knees?

That was quite possibly the worst phrasing Zim could’ve imagined, because now all he could picture was future Dib on his knees in front of his future self, sucking him. Zim bit his lip nearly hard enough to draw blood. These perverse thoughts were going to haunt him, dammit! He had a mission to focus on!

Zim decided he should probably contact his Tallest, seeing as he hadn’t transmitted any progress for over a year. The gullible alien left school and returned to his base, skipping his last two classes.

As soon as Zim got home he went down into the underground portion of the base, where all the communication devices were located. He attempted to establish a connection to The Massive and report to Tallest Red and Tallest Purple. The anxious Irken waited for an answer when suddenly a poor quality video of his leaders appeared on the screen, followed by a recorded message: “We assumed you would try contacting us eventually, Zim, so we made this little video to tell you the truth,” Tallest Red’s voice announced with a cynical laugh, “Your mission is fake. Always has been. You were never meant to be an invader, Zim!”

“That’s right!” Tallest Purple chimed in before stuffing a donut in his mouth, letting Tallest Red speak again, “And by the way, operation Impending Doom Two was a success. Without you! We found a nice cluster of planets in a faraway galaxy and colonized them. Don’t bother trying to reach us. We’ll be well out of transmission range by the time you get this message,” the Irken leader snickered, grabbing a donut. His purple counterpart laughed. “Have fun spending the rest of your life on that dirtball called ‘Urth’ or whatever it is. Haha!”

The message ended with a bzzzt, Zim’s screen went black, the room fell silent. Zim’s eye twitched with rage. “How dare they trick the amazing Zim!? Miserable, no good, spleech-shnockers! I can’t fucking believe this!” Zim swore in Irken and English for the first time, “What is Zim supposed to do now?!?!!” he shrieked.


	6. Chapter 6

The distraught Irken had no idea how to deal with the sudden news that his mission was a lie all along, so he just stood there in shock. What was he supposed to do now that his invader conquests were pointless? He pulled off his disguise and threw it across the room in anger.

“MASTER!” Gir ran out of the lab elevator with a pan of something on fire. “It’s magical! The blondies turned into brownies! Ehehehehe!!!!” The little robot laughed like a psychopath, spinning around with his flaming pan of burnt blondies until the fire died out.

“GIR! Dispose of that human snack filth immediately! It’s disgusting!!!!” Zim yelled at his defective SIR unit, who tilted his head and stared blankly for a moment. “OKIE DOKIE! WEEEE!” Gir ran into the elevator and went back to the kitchen, where every possible ingredient was somehow splattered onto every possible surface. A tentacle of some sort was even suctioned to the ceiling. The spastic robot ran past the mess and sat on the couch to watch the Angry Monkey show, chomping on his giant, burnt blondie bar and coughing up bits of ashes. “Mmm, TASTY!”

Back in the lower part of the base, Zim waved a hand in front of his face to disperse the smoky fumes from Gir’s culinary disaster. The alien sighed deeply and slumped down in his chair. He decided to sift through all the unfinished plans to take over the world or thwart the Dib human. After over an hour, Zim fully realized they no longer appealed to him in the slightest. “Computer, erase all files pertaining to the destruction of the human race and… Dib.”

“Ughhhh, fine…” The computer groaned. A few seconds later, it made a ding and announced, “all requested files are deleted.”

“Good…” Zim crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, unsure of what to do next. He decided to scan the other planets in the solar system just out of curiosity; Mercury was far too hot, Venus looked like a toxic acid pit, Mars was pretty boring… then one of Jupiter’s moons caught Zim’s attention. “Ice?”

Zim zoomed in on Europa, an ice encrusted moon colonized by tiny, water dwelling creatures. Upon closer inspection, Zim realized they were vicious little carnivorous beasts. When one of them bit another’s head off and swallowed it whole to settle an argument, Zim quickly scrapped the idea of ever visiting that moon, no matter how small the aliens were.

Another hour passed, and Zim grew bored of looking at all the miserable planets in the Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies. He went up to the house level and cringed at the ridiculous mess in the kitchen. “GIR!!!! CLEAN UP THIS FILTH RIGHT NOW!”

Gir shot off the couch and saluted Zim, going into his serious robot minion mode. “Yes, my master!” Zim creeped through the kitchen using his pak’s spiderlegs to avoid stepping on the disgusting stuff on the floor. “Stupid robot…” he muttered, taking some Irken fun-dip out out his pak. Zim plopped onto the couch and started channel surfing through absurd shows.

Meanwhile, at the High Skool, the final bell had just rung, releasing the students from their academic prison. Dib packed up his books and started walking home, wondering why Zim hadn’t been in math class. He assumed it was because Zim didn’t want to be near him after what they saw in the future, but an odd feeling of concern bothered Dib the whole walk home. He watched Peg and Gaz continue walking past the Membrane house, arms linked instead of holding hands so they could still play on their Game Slaves together.

Gaz spent a lot of time at Peg’s house ever since they started dating almost two years ago. Dib sighed. Even though Gaz wasn’t openly affectionate, Dib could see how they looked at one another; they were in love, no doubt about it. “My little sister had already found someone special to spend her life with and she’s only fifteen. I’m gonna be eighteen in summer… how wrong is that!?” Dib complained aloud, unlocking the door.

To top it all off, Dr. Membrane was hardly home, which meant Dib was often left completely alone in the house. It started getting to him as the years went by, not that he was ever used to a lot of attention from family, but just having another living presence around would be nice…

Dib went to his room and tossed his backpack on the floor before looking at himself in the mirror. “Wow, I look like hell!” he exclaimed when he noticed the dark smudges under his bloodshot hazel eyes. “Probably ‘cause Zim freaked me out so much today with that messed up future. It was just so… weird,” Dib told himself, wondering why he still had a bad feeling about Zim. “Maybe I should go check on him. Make sure he’s alright…”

The teenaged human made up his mind and walked over to Zim’s house, not really sure what to say once he got there, but he still had to do something. Dib knocked on the door to Zim’s suspiciously odd looking house, the garden gnomes turning toward him as if ready to attack. Zim heard the knock and frowned. “Computer! Who’s at the door!?”

“The human called Dib,” replied the machine. “The Dib?” He thought for a moment before ordering Gir to “open the door for the Dib-stink.” Gir skipped out of the kitchen covered in flour and grease and opened the door as he was told. “HI THERE!” Gir yelled at Dib, waving ecstatically. “Uh, hi. Is Zim here? He skipped his last class and I was just wonderi--”

Gir cut Dib off by pulling him in the house and pushing him onto the couch next to Zim, making the two bump into each other. “WEEEEEE!” The crazed robot then shut the front door and ran back to the half-cleaned kitchen to finish the job.

Dib quickly moved to the other side of the couch, fearing that any prolonged physical contact may set the Irken off. “Hello, Dib-beast…” Zim took a bite of his alien fun dip, just staring at the television, completely unconcerned that he was undisguised in front of a human. Dib shifted uncomfortably at Zim’s disturbingly unthreatening comment. “Hi, Zim. You seem kinda… off. Something wrong?”

“Well… Zim has given this much thought… and decided that if I'm going to live here, I might as well try to… ‘fit in’…”

Dib was stunned. “What are you talking about? You’ve been trying to conquer Earth ever since you got here! Why would you suddenly want to fit in any more than you already do? Everyone else on this planet is stupid enough to fall for your lousy disguise.”

Zim grabbed the remote and turned off the TV, expression growing more serious. “The Tallest sent Zim a message saying that this mission isn’t even real, and now the armada has moved too far into another galaxy to be reached…” Zim glanced over at Gir, who was cleaning the kitchen and singing the doom song, every so often breaking into a little dance. “They have abandoned me here with a defective robot minion…”

Dib couldn’t believe his ears. “Wow! After all these years you finally realize that?!” he exclaimed.

Zim didn’t seem to hear him. The Irken simply hugged his knees to his chest and let his half eaten snack fall to the floor. “… and now Zim must live on this filthy planet, without a purpose… Zim feels… empty,” he glanced over at Dib, sheer desperation in his dark magenta eyes.

Dib didn’t really know how to respond to that. “So… you’re not going to try to take over the Earth anymore?”

Zim shook his head. “What’s the point?”

Dib frowned, not understanding why he actually pitied the creature beside him. “Geez, Zim. As much as it sucked when you were all evil and crazy, it was still better than seeing you like this…” Dib thought for a second. “Hey, maybe now that you’re not trying to conquer Earth anymore, we could, uh… try being friends? I could help you fit in maybe. Not that I really fit in well myself, but--” It took Dib a moment to realize he just said all his ridiculous thoughts aloud. His cheeks turned red.

“The Dib-human… friends with Zim?” The alien looked at Dib with a bewildered expression.

“Well, uhm, yeah… You’re gonna get lonely on this planet, Zim. I know I do…” Dib scratched the back of his head nervously. Zim glared at the human male. “You’re just trying to gain trust and expose Zim’s true identity, aren’t you?”

“Honestly, Zim, I really don’t even care if anyone believes me or thinks I’m crazy. Not anymore. I know you’re an alien but whatever. We have no reason to be enemies now, but my life would get so boring without you in it.” Dib chuckled, realizing how sadly true that statement was. “Maybe we could try being normal together,” he shrugged, trying to act nonchalant about it when in reality, this was a huge deal.

Zim blinked, eyes full of wonder and awe that the human who obsessed over exposing him for years was now being so disturbingly kind. He was a reject from planet Irk. Everyone hated him, his life was a failure, but he couldn’t hold back the grin that spread across his face as he flicked Dib on the forehead. “How could anyone with such a gargantuan head could ever be considered normal, Dib-stink?”

“Shut up, alien scum,” Dib said almost sweetly as he punched Zim in the arm, smiling like an idiot. Zim sneered. “I still do not understand why human affection must be pain-based,” he said, annoyed. They locked eyes, hazel to ruby, the hair on Dib’s arm standing up when Zim scooted closer and gently dragged his fingertips across Dib’s forearm, making him blush. “Uh, Zim…?”

The little green alien suddenly dug his gloved claws into Dib’s skin with a smirk. Dib pulled his arm away, leaving Zim confused. “The fuck, Zim?! Human affection isn’t actually pain-based, idiot!” Dib sucked the droplets of pooling blood off the surface of his skin.

“Then give Zim an example of ‘proper’ human affection, Dib-pig!” Zim made air quotes to emphasize his sarcasm.

Dib rolled his eyes. “The way you touched my arm before scratching me… that was affectionate.”

Zim’s antennae perked up as he noticed the blush on Dib’s face. “So that felt nice?” he asked, half teasing, half curious. Dib’s blush darkened. “Well, yeah,” he replied, avoiding eye contact with the intrigued alien. “Hmm…” Zim wondered how it feels to be touched ‘affectionately’. The Irken took off one of his gloves and rubbed his own arm with his other hand, just as he did to Dib. Zim looked up at the human, annoyed. “That didn’t feel like anything!”

Dib laughed aloud at the alien’s cluelessness. “That’s not how it works. Someone else has to do it for it to feel that way.” Zim glared at Dib, begrudgingly sticking out his arm toward the bemused teenager. “You do it, then, Dib… Zim has never felt this ‘affection’ before. Administer it,” Zim insisted, completely serious. Dib tried not to laugh again and did what Zim asked. He hesitantly lifted a hand and rested his fingertips on Zim’s forearm, slowly moving back and forth.

Zim’s eyes widened when he realized how different it felt when Dib touched him, how much better it was. It gave the Irken chills up his spine and butterflies in his squeedly-spooch. Dib cracked a smirk at Zim’s reaction. “Like that?” Dib teased, still rubbing Zim’s arm. “Mmmm…” was all Zim replied, eyes half-closed, the tip of his tongue sticking out between his smiling lips.

“Hehe, so cute,” Dib thought aloud, his brain-to-mouth filter failing as usual. _Shit! I can’t believe I just said that!_ Dib panicked, then he realized Zim wasn’t even paying attention. “Oh, good,” he breathed a sigh of relief and stopped touching Zim’s bare skin. Zim blinked twice, regaining full cognitive function. “Hey! You stopped!” Zim snapped at the human. “Uh, sorry?” Dib was slightly surprised by the alien’s reaction, “so you actually like human affection now, huh?”

Zim blushed, cheeks turning a dark green. He didn’t want to answer that question honestly. Dib raised an eyebrow. “You do realize this is what makes that future happen, right? ‘Cause now that you know how much you like it… when I touch you… you’ll eventually want more,” Dib was embarrassed to say it, but it had to be said. Zim didn’t say anything, just stared at Dib with wide eyes. Everything Dib said was completely true, and Zim wanted to rip out his own spinal cord and hang himself with it. “Hey, Zim?” The Irken ex-invader was still speechless. “Is it even possible to change the future we saw? Or did it happen because you time travelled and saw us and then got the idea and--”

“Enough, Dib-beast…” Zim raised a finger to Dib’s lips to silence him. “Zim doesn’t know if we can prevent that future, or if time travel is what caused it in the first place. The only certainty at this point… is the uncertainty of whether or not Zim wants to avoid that future, anymore… don’t think that means Zim actually likes the Dib-pig! But Zim does enjoy the physical affection…” Zim looked at Dib with an unsure expression, waiting for the human to respond.

Dib swallowed nervously, making sure he wasn’t misinterpreting what he just heard. He couldn’t believe he might actually have a chance with Zim. It made his heart flutter with excitement and fear. The teenaged boy quirked a smile, a light blush dusting his pale cheeks. “Let’s just… see what happens.”


	7. Chapter 7

Zim and Dib sat in awkward silence for a while, not looking at each other, or anything in particular. Gir peeked at them from the kitchen doorway, the tentacle from the ceiling now stuck to the side of his head. He giggled and ran back into the kitchen when Zim looked toward him. “Gir! It better be clean in there!” Zim yelled to his robot minion. “It’s sparkly shiny cleeeeean! EEEE HEHEHE!” The psychotic robot shrieked happily, accompanied by the sound of pots and pans clattering.

Dib chuckled, followed by the rumbling of his stomach. Zim twitched his antennae and looked at Dib suspiciously. “Why do the Dib-thing’s organs growl at Zim?!” Dib’s stomach made more noise. “‘Cause I’m hungry. I wasn’t able to eat lunch because of… what happened. I guess I should go home and eat now. I have homework to do, anyway,” Dib got off the couch and stretched, arching his back til it cracked. Zim watched the human walk to the door and turn the knob. “Well, uh, see you tomorrow, Zim.” Dib smiled awkwardly before leaving and closing the door behind him.

The alien didn’t know what to think about this newfound ‘friendship’ thing, as the humans call it. Friends… with Dib… Zim’s skin tingled where Dib had touched him on the arm. He pulled his glove back on and tried not to think about how nice it felt to be touched. The whole concept of being so close to someone that you’re completely vulnerable was disturbing to the Irken, and the fact that his future self seemed perfectly fine with it was even more unsettling. All these ‘feelings’ for the human were overwhelming, and Zim was suddenly frightened by the enormity of the whole situation.

_The future must be changeable!_ Zim thought for a moment, then he remembered his time machine and got a terrible idea. _Human smeets are helpless, pathetic creatures… going to the past and destroying the Dib human as a smeet-baby would fix everything!_ Without thinking the plan through, Zim pulled out the time machine and set the coordinates to Dib’s house, going back seventeen and a half years into the past.

Zim appeared in the living room of the Membrane household. Professor Membrane was nowhere to be seen, so Zim swiftly went upstairs on his pak’s spiderlegs. Assuming baby Dib lived in the same room as he does seventeen years later, the alien opened that door first. Inside the room was a little crib with a mobile of stars and planets hanging above it. Zim crept closer to the crib and saw a sleeping, big headed baby with an odd lock of black hair sticking up on his head.

“Time to put an end to this _hideous_ mess…” Zim declared, looming over the baby’s crib. A laser came out of Zim’s pak and pointed at little Dib’s head. “Any last words, human?” The Irken asked with an evil grin, but baby Dib didn’t answer. Zim glared at the tiny human. “Why do you ignore Zim?!”

The sound of Zim’s voice finally woke up the baby, who opened his big hazel eyes and blinked innocently at the frustrated alien. Baby Dib made a noise of surprise and wiggled his chubby limbs, reaching up to the strange creature above him. “Yeees, squirm in terror at the sight of Zim! Mwahahahahaha--OOW!” Zim yelped. Dib had grabbed the end of Zim’s antenna and started to pull on it before letting it go with a giggle, kicking his little legs.

Zim raised himself higher above the crib to avoid the human child’s grasp. “Zim has underestimated you, smeet-Dib,” he said with a snarl, sensitive antennae flattening against his head, “but now you shall meet your doom!” Baby Dib looked up at the brightening laser and tried to grab it, as well. Zim didn’t understand. “Hideous smeet-Dib, why are you not afraid?!”

The baby boy simply stared up at the alien and smiled. An awkward, toothless smile accompanied by an adorable little laugh. Zim couldn’t bring himself to fire his weapon; baby Dib was just too horribly pathetic. He facepalmed and retracted the laser, groaning as he pressed the ‘return’ button on the time machine, leaving young Dib alone once again.

Zim appeared in the living room of his base, thoroughly hating himself. What kind of invader couldn’t kill something so perfectly defenseless?! It would’ve fixed everything! It should’ve been easy… Zim growled and hurled the time machine against the wall in rage.

“YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE!” Gir’s voice echoed through the house, making Zim flinch. The alien went into the kitchen to investigate and saw Gir sitting on the table with two humanoid shaped blobs of… was that butter? Well, at least the rest of the kitchen was clean… “What on Irk are you doing, Gir?!” Zim snapped, examining the greasy things Gir was playing with. One of them had a pair of bagels stuck to its face, the other had two bendy straws sticking out of its head. Gir pushed their heads together and made little smoochy noises, then his faulty circuits glitched and he ate the buttery creations, coughing up one of the straws.

Zim’s eye twitched in disgust. Even Gir’s twisted mind saw something between Zim and Dib! The alien suddenly realized something else and gasped in shock. “NO! It’s because of Zim that the Dib human became obsessed with aliens! Smeet Dib saw Zim as a worm baby human! GAHHHH! FILTHY MEAT PIG!” The infuriated alien snatched up his time machine. “How _dare_ he toy with the emotions of a superior being?! Zim will _not_ fail this time!”

Zim reset the machine back seventeen and a half years again, prepared to kill without hesitation, but when he pressed the button, nothing happened. “EH?!” Zim removed the back panel from the small gadget and realized the delicate wiring inside had snapped when he threw it at the wall. Zim’s rage was now incapable of being expressed through words. He flailed and snarled and shook his fists, causing further damage to the device.

He hated the time machine for being broken. He hated the Tallest for sending him on a fake mission and abandoning him on this miserable planet. He was furious with himself for not simply killing Dib when he had the chance. But most of all, he despised the human who had showed him affection not long ago. The same human who now commonly haunted his thoughts with memories of a future where they not only mated for pleasure, but were actually _happy_ together…


	8. Chapter 8

Zim gave a resigned sigh and sat on the couch, lying back and staring at the ceiling, recalling what he said to Dib after the human showed him how pleasant physical affection can be…  _The only certainty at this point… is the uncertainty of whether or not Zim wants to avoid that future, anymore…_  Zim facepalmed angrily. “What was I thinking?! Saying something like that to the human! Now the Dib-filth will assume Zim actually  _cares_!”  
  
While Zim ranted about his troubles, Dib arrived home and made himself a sandwich, taking it up to his room. He sat at his desk and exhaled deeply. “What was  _that_  all about?” Dib said aloud, referring to the strange visit at Zim’s house. “Why the hell did I start to feel… all weird about Zim? He’s a stupid alien creep that wants to destroy the Earth! Well, he  _wanted_  to… before realizing his mission’s been fake all along… but that doesn't mean I should  _like_  him like I do now!”  
  
The teenaged human let his head fall on the desk with a thud. “This. Sucks.” Dib declared, raising his head to take a bite of his sandwich, chewing with a frown. “Why can’t I just like  _humans_?! I don’t even care if I’m gay or straight, but come on! Zim’s an  _alien_! Am I really that desperate?!”  
  
Then it finally clicked in Dib’s head; the main reason for this disturbing, developing relationship. “Maybe because… we’re both… rejects? We relate to each other’s loneliness…?” The frustrated human quickly ate the rest of his late lunch in silence, brooding over what all these stupid feelings meant, or if they meant anything at all.   
  
Dib tried to drown his thoughts with some Advanced Calculus homework, but even that wasn’t enough to quell the voice in his head trying to figure everything out. After a few hours, Dib gave up on distracting himself from his problems. He took a quick shower and decided to go to bed early, hoping a good night’s sleep would make everything seem better in the morning…  
  
It was almost midnight when Zim showed up at Dib’s bedroom window, prying it open and looming over the unsuspecting Earthling on his pak legs. The sheets covering Dib’s body rose and fell with each slow breath until the impatient Irken decided to wake him. “DIB-STINK! GET UP!”  
  
“Hu-wha?!” Dib jolted up so fast he almost fell off the bed. He quickly grabbed his glasses to confirm the suspected identity of the intruder. “Zim! What the hell are you doing here?!” Dib glanced at the clock and rubbed his tired eyes with a sigh. Zim glared at him. “I could have killed you in your sleep, Dib-human,” he said matter-of-factly.  
  
Dib simply raised an eyebrow. “Yes, you could have. But you didn’t.” Dib plopped down on the pillow before pulling the covers up to his neck. “I’m going back to sleep.”  
  
Zim pouted. “But Dib-beast! There is much to discuss!” the Irken insisted.  
  
“Oh yeah? Like what?” Dib said with a yawn, closing his eyes. A robotic arm reached out of Zim’s pak and grabbed Dib by the wrist, forcing him to sit up. “Zim will  _not_  be ignored!”  
  
“Zim! Let go!” Dib struggled to break free of the arm’s grip, but being tangled in the bedsheets didn’t make it any easier. After a while the tired human sighed in defeat. “Okay, fine, but we have to be quiet. Waking up my sister is the last thing I wanna do…”  
  
Zim nodded and released Dib from the pak arm’s grip and sat on the opposite end of the bed, facing Dib. “So, uh, what did you want to ‘discuss’?” Dib used finger quotes to emphasize his sarcasm.  
  
“A few things, filthy human… firstly, do you know why the paranormal interests you so much, Dib-thing?”  
  
Dib thought for a moment, running a hand through his sleep tousled hair. “No, not really. But ever since I can remember, I just knew that ghosts and extraterrestrials were real. Sometimes I even think I saw an alien as a baby or something. Weird right?” Dib chuckled.  
  
 _The smeet Dib did remember seeing me… it’s really my own fault all this is happening…_  Zim thought in horror. His eyes widened and he said nothing, causing Dib to give a questioning stare. “Zim? What is it?” It took Dib a moment to connect the dots and realize why Zim was even asking about this, and then he understood; the time machine was the answer.  
  
“Holy crap! I saw  _you_  as a baby?!” Dib exclaimed. Zim sighed and figured there was no point in hiding the truth. “Yes… Zim travelled back in time to… destroy the smeet-Dib and return my life to normal.”  
  
Dib blinked, unsure of how to take that statement. “But… I’m still alive.”  
  
Zim shrugged. “The infant Dib was just too pathetic,” he said, avoiding eye contact with the human. Dib wasn’t buying it. “No, no, no… what’s the  _real_  reason you didn’t kill me?” Dib questioned, leaning forward. Even though the moonlight proved to be a poor source of illumination, Dib could’ve sworn Zim’s cheeks had turned a shade darker than the rest of his skin.  
  
“That is the reason, Dib-beast!” Zim snapped. Dib looked at Zim and grinned, leaning in even closer.“Bullshit. You didn’t kill me ‘cause you actually care about me.”  
  
Zim scowled at the teenaged boy, trying to suppress the blush burning his cheeks. “N-NO! Zim only cares about ZIIIIM!” The Irken hissed. Dib rolled his eyes. He always found Zim’s outbursts adorable, not that he would ever admit it. “Sure. Whatever you say, Zim. Anything else you wanna talk about or can I go back to sleep now?”  
  
Zim crossed his arms and glared. “No. I have more questions…” he began. “Gir's been watching these repulsive soapy opera shows and the humans sometimes use the phrase 'let’s sixty-nine' and then they do that disgusting make out thing with their mouths and fall onto the bed furniture but it doesn't show what happens after that! Explain what the filthy humans were about to do!” Zim demanded.  
  
Dib's jaw dropped, his cheeks turning red. “I-I can't really--”  
  
“Why not?! There must be some speck of knowledge on the subject in that giant head of yours, Dib-beast! Do not keep secrets from Zim!” The alien frowned and crossed his arms, determined to find out the 'secrets' about this particular number. “No one else would explain this to Zim! Yesterday I even entered a center of human intelligence known as the ‘lie-brary’ and a miserable female said she would help me find anything I was looking for! So I demanded she show me how humans do the number sixty-nine and the horrible woman called Zim a pervert pig! The beast works in a brary of lies! LIES!” Zim yelled.  
  
“Shhh! You’re gonna wake up Gaz, idiot!” Dib scolded him in an angry whisper, fearing the wrath of his vicious sibling. He glanced at the door. “On second thought… I’m just gonna lock this so she can’t get in here as easily.” Dib flicked on the bedside lamp so he wouldn’t trip over one of the random items strewn across the room. He got out of bed and bolted the bedroom door. Zim stared at him as he walked back to the bed.  
  
Dib noticed this and stopped in his tracks. “What are you looking at, space scum?” After a moment, Dib remembered that he only wore underpants when he slept. “Dammit, Zim! Turn around!” Dib rushed to a drawer and pulled out a baggy shirt and sweatpants to cover his half naked body. The Irken didn’t turn away, he just tilted his head in confusion.“Why is the Dib so embarrassed? I’ve already seen everything.” Zim reminded the boy.   
  
“T-that’s different! That wasn’t  _us_ …” Dib’s face went red at the memory of his future self with Zim. “Technically, it was,” Zim said flatly, still watching the human get dressed, subconsciously wondering what it would be like to touch the pale bare skin on Dib’s neck and chest… wait, what?  
  
Dib’s sleep deprived patience was growing thin. “Alright, then, let me see  _you_  half naked and  _then_  you can tell me it isn’t embarrassing!”  
  
The human’s eyes widened when he realized he just issued a challenge to the alien. “Fuck, I… I didn’t mean that literally, you know…” Dib sheepishly returned to his bed and leaned back against the headboard.  
  
Zim smirked at the flustered boy, almost disappointed that he revoked the dare; he always enjoyed making Dib uncomfortable, and stripping certainly would’ve done the job. “God dammit… I’m so tired…” Dib groaned. “Just… look up what doing sixty-nine means on the internet or something.”  
  
“How does one access this ‘in-ter-net’?” Zim inquired, curious. “With that…” Dib pointed at the laptop sitting on his desk and rested his head on the pillow. Zim turned on the technologically primitive device and sighed when he realized it needed a password to be used. “Dib-beast! Tell Zim the passcode for this machine.”  
  
Dib huffed and sat up again. “Ughh… bring it over…” Zim handed the laptop to Dib, who quickly typed in his password and clicked on the internet icon. “Here. Just turn it off when you’re done.” Dib gave it back to Zim and promptly collapsed onto his pillow.


	9. Chapter 9

Dib woke up to the sound of his alarm going off. He hit the snooze button and nestled back under the covers, still exhausted. The annoying click-clacking sound of someone typing on a keyboard reminded him that he had company. “Zim? You’re still here?” Dib asked with a yawn, grabbing his glasses and forcing himself to sit up. He saw Zim’s antennae perk up and realized the alien had removed his disguise.  
  
“Yes… Zim is… doing research…” The Irken replied, obviously distracted. Dib shrugged and got out of bed to go to the bathroom. When he returned he took a peek over Zim’s shoulder at the laptop screen. Dib’s jaw dropped at what he saw. “How is  _this_  research?!” he exclaimed. Dib quickly closed the laptop and sighed; Zim was just watching some sort of BDSM fetish porn… in  _his_  bedroom… Dib questioned where he went wrong in life.    
  
“Human mating rituals… are very strange… have you ever done the sixty-nine, Dib-stink?” Zim asked, turning to face Dib. The human’s cheeks went red with embarrassment. “No! I’ve never done  _anything_  like that!” Dib answered defensively. “Why not? All my research concludes it’s very pleasurable for humans.” Zim stated like a scientific fact. The poor alien was so clueless. “I… I don’t--” Dib was cut off by his annoying alarm clock. He simply pulled the plug from the wall to shut it up and sat back on the bed, completely forgetting that it was a school day. Dib was too busy thinking of how to answer Zim’s horribly personal question.  
  
“I just… that’s not something I’d want to do… with just anyone,” Dib replied, nervously tugging at his clothes, “…no one’s ever wanted to do that with me, anyway. Hell, I haven’t even had my first kiss, nevermind  _that_ …” he glanced up at Zim, who was watching him curiously. “Have you ever been with anyone, Zim? I don’t really know how it works on your planet.”  
  
Zim frowned at the boy and crossed his arms. “No. The only physical contact Zim has experienced was with you…” Zim glanced away, not wanting to remember how nice it felt when Dib touched him. “Irkens do not do such filthy things any longer, Dib-pig. Our species is now genetically engineered, so mating has become unnecessary. It is considered a disgusting thing to do. Zim does not understand why it is so acceptable on this planet…”  
  
“Well, we can’t genetically engineer babies just yet, so it’s kind of necessary,” Dib chuckled, “and like you said, it’s supposed to feel really good, so that explains why everyone does it all the time. I wonder if it feels as good as people say…” The teenager then tilted his head and smirked at the alien. “But anyway, how’d your ‘research’ go last night? I’m surprised you could stomach so much porn in one sitting.”  
  
Zim thought for a moment, not picking up on the sarcasm in Dib’s voice. “Zim has learned many things about human love-pigging, Dib-stink! Your species is certainly…  _creative_  with mating positions, but the most interesting thing is that some humans don’t seem to discriminate between sexes when choosing a partner, even though males and females are the usual combination… Zim is curious…” The Irken smirked, “What is the Dib’s preference for a mate? Male or female?” Zim looked at Dib expectantly. “A-Are you serious? Why would it matter to you?” Dib was a bit taken aback.  
  
Zim sighed. “Does it  _look_  like Zim is joking, Dib-beast?” he snapped at the boy, annoyed that Dib wasn’t cooperating. Dib stifled a laugh. If only Zim could see how obviously he was paving the road to their x-rated future, maybe he would’ve tried harder to stop it…  
  
“What are you laughing at, stink-brain?!” The frustrated Irken stomped over to him, looking adorably angry. Dib forced himself to take a deep breath and stop snickering. “Okay, okay…” Dib smirked, “I… I guess I’m gay… since I’m, well… interested in a male, but--”  
  
“WHO?! Who is this filthy hyooman?!” Zim yelled, interrupting Dib and grabbing the front of his shirt. An inexplicable jolt of anger sparked inside the alien when he thought of Dib actually being attracted to someone else. Dib raised an eyebrow and grinned.  _Oh my God, he’s so jealous… he really does like me…_  Dib thought, smiling like an idiot.  
  
“Heh, I only said they were  _male_ , Zim. I never said they were  _human_ …” Dib smirked and decided to do something incredibly stupid. He leaned forward and gently pressed his lips against Zim’s. The Irken released Dib’s shirt and backed away, blinking his big magenta eyes at the human as if he were in shock.  
  
“Shit, uh, uhm, was that… okay?” Dib had a mini panic attack inside, afraid he crossed the line too soon. Zim didn’t say a word, just touched his lips and stared at Dib like a deer in the headlights. “Did… did you like it?” Dib asked hesitantly, not really sure of what to say. He got off the bed and walked over to Zim, slowly reaching out to touch the alien’s cheek.  
  
Zim suddenly grabbed Dib’s wrist and pulled him closer. The feigned look of innocent surprise on Zim’s face quickly morphed into a devilish smirk. “I’m not sure, Dib-beast… it was far too short to tell how good it felt. Let’s try it again…” Zim grinned against Dib’s mouth and kissed him.  
  
“Mmmm…” Dib moaned into the kiss, letting Zim slip his tongue inside and wrap around his own. The sweet burn of Dib’s saliva made Zim shudder with desire for the human.  
  
It was almost pathetic how badly they wanted this, how badly they wanted each other. How their deep seated fears and denial kept them apart for so long. For a second, Dib was afraid it was all just a dream, that he was still sleeping and Zim had gone home, but a dream could never feel this real…  
  
Dib pulled away from Zim’s mouth to kiss and lick the soft green skin on his neck. The Irken practically went limp in Dib’s arms, moaning softly as the Earthling made him feel things he’d never even imagined possible. Quiet moans escaped Zim’s lips, the words ghosting across Dib’s skin. “Oohhh… Dib-beast…”  
  
The boy gave Zim’s neck one last kiss before raising his head to look Zim in the eyes. “So… are we officially done with… trying to avoid that future, now?” Dib panted. Zim wrapped his arms around Dib’s waist and rested his head against his shoulder, closing his eyes. He felt the warmth of Dib’s body pressing against his cooler one and didn’t feel repulsed by it like he expected. Maybe human affection wasn’t  _quite_  as disgusting as it looked, or maybe Dib was just the exception. Either way, Zim no longer felt a need to change the future.  
  
He looked up at Dib, who was still waiting for an answer. “Yes.” Zim replied with a smile. A wave of relief washed over Dib and he sighed happily.  _Thank God we’re done with that nonsense_... Dib thought. He twirled Zim’s sensitive antenna between his fingers and smiled when Zim let out a contented purring sound. Dib was tempted to tease the alien but he didn’t want to ruin the sweet moment. He kissed Zim on the forehead and continued petting Zim’s antennae, listening to his soft purrs.  
  
The sound of approaching footsteps reminded Dib that he and Zim weren’t the only ones in the house. “DIB! We’re gonna be late for school if you don’t get your ass outta bed right now!” Gaz yelled angrily, banging on the door as if she were going to break it down. “AHHH! THE DIB SISTER!” Zim screamed, snapping out of his peaceful daze and tightly clinging to Dib. “Is that  _Zim_?” Gaz questioned. Dib facepalmed and groaned. “Uh, y-yeah, it’s just-- ughh, nevermind. I’ll be ready in a minute, okay!”  
  
“Whatever.” The purple haired girl went back to the kitchen to finish her toast. Dib rushed over to his bedside clock and plugged it back in; they were supposed to leave in four minutes. “Shit!”  
  
Dib scrambled to get all his stuff ready for school while Zim simply watched with an amused grin on his face. He snuck up behind Dib and slinked his arms around the boy’s waist, holding him still. “Zim! Let go! I can’t be late!” Dib tried to break free from Zim’s grip, but the stubborn alien wouldn’t budge. “It’s only school. Wouldn’t you rather spend the day with Zim?” The Irken smirked and licked the back of Dib’s neck.  
  
“I… ohhh…” Dib shivered as Zim ran his long tongue up and down the nape of his neck. “Z-Zim… there’s a math quiz today… we can’t miss tha--! Zim!?” The human gasped when he felt a hand slip into his pants, Zim’s gloved  fingertips trailing across his hipbone. “The only mathematical thing I’m interested in is the number sixty nine, Dib-human. But Zim cannot study that alone… Zim needs you…”


	10. Chapter 10

The Irken teasingly rubbed Dib’s member through the thin fabric of his underwear and that was the end of the argument. “Ah… fuck…” Dib moaned, pissed that he was going to get his first ever zero on a quiz because of Zim, but not pissed enough to stop what the alien was doing. He reluctantly stepped away from Zim to open the bedroom door. “I’m not going to school today, Gaz!” he yelled to his sister.  
  
“Why not? Is Zim keeping you hostage in your own room?” Gaz yelled back at him sarcastically. “Y-you could say that…” Dib trembled, voice far too quiet for Gaz to hear him. Up in Dib’s room, Zim had lifted the human’s shirt and was now leaving a series of wet kisses on his back, making him cringe with desire. Gaz grumbled in annoyance at her brother’s lack of response. She grabbed her bookbag and left without him, slamming the front door behind her.  
  
Dib sighed and shut the door, turning to face Zim, who looked very pleased with himself. He quickly pinned Zim against the wall and glared at him. The Irken simply grinned at the boy. “Why so angry? The Dib-beast didn’t  _have_  to stay,” Zim taunted, nudging his hips forward to press against Dib. “You’re a real jerk, you know that? Making me fail a quiz,” Dib remarked. It just made the alien’s smile widen. “But you still chose me over that useless math quiz,” Zim reminded him, sticking his tongue out at Dib.  
  
Dib could only imagine the things that long tongue was capable of. A wolfish grin spread across his face. Dib released Zim’s wrists and swept him off his feet, carrying him to the bed and laying him down. He straddled Zim and kissed him roughly. “Well it’s still  _your_  fault for making me want you so fucking bad,” Dib growled seductively, grinding against the Irken and and lustfully kissing his neck. “Ooooh, Dib…” Zim moaned, loving the attention.  
  
Zim wrapped his arms around Dib, pulled off his gloves, and slid his bare hands up the boy’s shirt. Dib also slipped a hand under Zim’s clothes and caressed Zim’s chest and stomach. He kissed Zim passionately, becoming addicted to the feeling of Zim’s lips on his, Zim’s tongue in his mouth. Whatever doubts and fears Dib had about being with the alien flew right out the window. All he wanted was to feel more of Zim’s slender body pressed against his own.  
  
Dib tugged Zim’s shirt up and over his head and dropped it on the floor. The Irken did the same to Dib, leaving them both topless. Zim wrapped his arms around Dib and pulled him into another kiss, their bodies now flush against each other. He eagerly slipped his tongue between the human’s lips. Dib lightly stroked one of Zim’s antennae, making him moan into the kiss. The teenage boy pulled away and smiled.  
  
“You said something about sixty nine, right?” Dib teased, still petting Zim’s antenna. “Mmm, yes… I… I want to try it… with you…” Zim panted, his cheeks tinted dark green. Dib grinned and kissed him. “Well, I wanna study your anatomy first.” Dib pulled off Zim's pants and underwear, leaving the Irken lying naked in front of him. “Wow…” Dib marvelled at the sight. Zim’s body was perfectly smooth, with no nipples, hair, or navel. Dib gently rubbed Zim's inner thighs and the alien gladly spread his legs for the boy, smirking at the look of wonder on Dib’s face. “Like what you see, Dib-beast?”  
  
Dib simply watched in awe as Zim’s length emerged from a slit between his legs. “It's so… amazing…” Dib rubbed and stretched the wet slit with two fingers and Zim trembled with pleasure. He wrapped his hand around Zim’s member, which looked like a thicker version of the alien’s tongue. Zim groaned and bucked his hips, wanting more. The human smirked at Zim’s reaction and brought his head down to taste the alien’s anatomy. Dib gave it a few licks, then took it in his mouth.  
  
“Ahhh… Dib…” Zim moaned, closing his eyes and relishing the pleasure. Dib sucked hard, bobbing his head up and down Zim’s entire length. After a while the Irken suddenly grabbed Dib by the hair and lifted his head to stop him. A string of saliva stretched from the tip of Zim’s member to Dib’s lips. The boy blinked in confusion. “Something wrong?” Dib asked. Zim simply grinned at him before rearranging their position so Dib was on his back. He swiftly tugged the rest of Dib’s clothes off, licking his lips. “It’s Zim’s turn to taste  _you_ , human.”  
  
Without warning, Zim engulfed Dib’s member and sucked it hard. “Ohhh!” Dib moaned, unprepared to feel such intense pleasure all at once. Zim held Dib’s hips to keep him still. He wrapped his tongue around Dib’s length, constricting it like a snake, and looked up at the human with lust in his eyes. Dib bit his lip to muffle the moan trying to escape his mouth. Zim’s brow furrowed and he stopped, climbing on top of Dib to kiss him passionately.  
  
Only when Dib was breathless did Zim break the kiss. “I want to hear your noises, Dib-thing. No one’s home. Don’t hold back. Now let’s try it again…” Zim kissed Dib once more before returning to the human’s lower parts, sucking even harder than the first time. “AHH, ZIM!” Dib cried out. The alien smirked with satisfaction. “Mmmm…” Zim moaned quietly, the vibrations in his throat giving Dib a new sensation of pleasure. He reached down to stroke Zim’s antenna, eliciting a strange moaning purr from the Irken, sending more vibrations to Dib’s member. “Ohhhh…” Dib moaned. As much as Zim enjoyed hearing Dib’s unbridled groans of ecstasy, the curious alien still wanted more.  
  
He quickly changed positions, wanting to know how it feels to give and receive pleasure simultaneously. Dib didn’t comment on Zim’s restless desire to try sixty nine, instead he eagerly grabbed Zim’s hips and took the alien’s dripping wet member in his mouth. Zim groaned and wrapped his lips around Dib’s hard length. They both moaned at the feeling of their mouths on one another. Dib used one hand to squeeze Zim’s ass, pressing his thumb against the alien’s entrance. The Irken’s toes curled at the sudden pressure and it wasn’t long before the overwhelming sensations of pleasure sent him over the edge.  
  
Dib swallowed all of Zim’s seed, loving the strange, sweet taste. He came soon after, and Zim drank it down, sucking every last drop from the boy. Zim lied beside Dib, dazed from the intensity of his first orgasm. “That was… so good…” Dib panted. “Mmmm…” Zim hummed in agreement. He closed his eyes snuggled up against Dib, who took off his glasses and wrapped an arm around the alien. Dib kissed Zim softly on the forehead and smiled. They both allowed the natural post-orgasmic exhaustion to set in, and the desire for sleep soon pulled them under…  
  
Zim awoke to the feeling of cold metal pressing against his body. He soon realized he was strapped to an examination table, specially designed with a hole in the middle to accommodate his pak; someone had planned this. He opened his eyes and was blinded by the white light of a medical operatory lamp positioned above him. The rest of the room was dark. Zim tried to activate his pak’s defenses but nothing happened. He tried to speak but couldn’t find his voice. Fear welled up inside him.  
  
A sudden blur of motion caught his attention, the glint of bright light against smooth glass. “Hello, Zim,” Dib’s voice cut through the silence, the glare on his glasses hiding his real eyes. The alien struggled and whimpered, wordlessly pleading to be released. Dib simply grinned and tilted the light away from Zim’s face, leaning in close enough to see the tears welling up in his terrified eyes. “If I had known it would be so easy to trick you with sex, I would’ve done it  _years_  ago! Who knew you were so desperate!” Dib sneered.  
  
Zim watched in horror as Dib raised a scalpel, running his finger down the edge of the blade, presumably to test its sharpness. Dib smirked as his warm blood dripped from the cut flesh and onto Zim’s chest. He then noticed the hurt, betrayed expression in Zim’s eyes and grinned. “What? You thought I actually  _liked_  you? Ha! I would never want to be with a hideous monster like you!” Dib laughed cynically. Zim somehow broke free from the table and ran off into the darkness, Dib’s laughter fading away behind him. Everything was black. The ground suddenly disappeared and he found his voice, screaming as he fell into nothingness…  
  
“Zim? Zim! Wake up! ZIM!”  
  
Dib’s voice pulled him out of the dark. Zim opened his eyes to reality, terribly shaken by the nightmare. He saw Dib’s face and instinctively backed away, ending up pressed against the wall. “Zim! It’s just me! What’s wrong?! You were screaming and--”  
  
“I should’ve known! You  _do_  plan on betraying me!” Zim yelled and quickly pulled the blankets in front of himself. “What? Betraying you? Was that your nightmare?” Dib questioned, sitting up to look Zim in the eyes. He reached out to touch Zim but the Irken promptly swatted his hand away. “Zim! Come on!” Dib grabbed him by the shoulders and shook the alien to snap him out of it. “That was just a nightmare! I’m not gonna betray you…”   
  
The human pulled Zim into a sweet kiss, trying to reassure him. After a tense moment Zim relaxed and kissed him back. This wasn’t the Dib from his nightmare, this was the real Dib. “I’ve never had one of these… nightmares, as you call it. This must be the reason why Irkens normally choose not to sleep…” Zim commented, clearly disturbed by the realistic night terror. Dib petted Zim’s antenna in an effort to comfort the alien. Zim closed his eyes and leaned into Dib’s gentle touch, still feeling unsettled. It wasn’t a feeling Zim was used to dealing with.  
  
Dib didn’t exactly know how to help, so he just said what’s on his mind. “You know I would never betray you, Zim…” The boy looked him in the eyes, hoping Zim believed his sincerity. “We’re, uh… well, I guess we’re… a couple now,” Dib blushed and smiled, feeling ridiculous as a swell of happiness bloomed in his chest. He and Zim as a couple… it was almost unbelievable.  
  
Zim still didn’t say anything, his mind still trying to get over the nightmare and completely separate it from reality. Dib took his silence the wrong way and swallowed nervously. “You… you do wanna be together, right? Not just mess around and act like nothing happened? ‘Cause I didn’t sign up for some friends-with-benefits crap if tha--”  
  
Zim cut him off with a kiss, feeling like his usual self. “You talk too much, Dib-human,” Zim smirked. He wrapped his arms around Dib and held him close, kissing him passionately. “Mmm…” Dib moaned against Zim’s mouth, happily returning the embrace. After a minute of sweet kisses, Zim pulled away and smiled. “I don’t want to be friends with benefits. I want to be your mate.”  
  
Dib couldn’t help but chuckle at Zim’s choice of words. “Something amusing, human?” The Irken nibbled on Dib’s ear, making the boy shiver. “Heh, yeah. Humans don’t call one another their mate. They call each other their boyfriend or girlfriend. And when people get married, they become husband and wife. Or husbands. Or wives.” Dib smiled, kissing Zim on the lips. Zim thought about this for a moment as he kissed his boyfriend.  
  
“Then I shall refer to you as my husband unit.” Zim declared. Dib laughed aloud at the alien’s cluelessness. “You can’t call me that! We’re not married! I’m your boyfriend, not your husband.” The boy snickered. “I can call you whatever I please, Dib-beast. You belong to  _me_.” Zim smirked and kissed Dib roughly, desire sparking between them. “Mmmm…” Dib moaned, grabbing Zim’s waist to pull the naked alien onto his lap. Zim wrapped his legs around Dib as he straddled the boy, kissing him deeply.  
  
Zim tugged Dib’s hair to tilt his head back and expose his neck. He licked and sucked the pale skin, and Dib didn’t even think to warn him about leaving a mark. Dib simply moved his hips against the Irken and stroked his antenna. “So… would you like to show me… what else you researched last night?” Dib teased. He felt Zim grin against his neck. “There are many fascinating things…” he began, “…but there is one thing Zim will never do…”  
  
“What?” Dib was curious. Zim trailed his tongue along Dib’s jawline before answering. “I refuse to have multiple partners and share you with other filthy lifeforms. You’re mine, Dib-mate. Only mine…” Zim bit down on Dib’s neck and the boy moaned. He loved how possessive Zim was acting over him. It made him ache for more. “Ahh, yes… I’m yours, Zim… ohhh…” Dib panted, craving the alien’s touch. “Then let’s try something that’s supposed to be even better than sixty nine.” Zim licked his lips and rearranged their position so Dib was on his back. He kissed Dib eagerly, grinding his slick member against Dib’s hard length. “Oh, fuck, Zim… so wet…” Dib panted against the Irken’s lips.  
  
Zim smirked lustfully and raised his fingers to Dib’s mouth. “Suck,” he commanded. The human gladly took Zim’s digits in his mouth, thoroughly coating them with saliva. Zim reached down and positioned his lubed fingertips at Dib’s puckered entrance, gently pressing against the tight ring of muscle. “Relax, Dib-mate…” Zim kissed him sweetly, slowly pushing a finger inside. Dib winced at the pain but didn’t tell Zim to stop. He wanted this too badly to delay it any longer.  
  
Dib sharply sucked in a breath as Zim slipped a whole finger in. It was a strange feeling, but not entirely unpleasant. Zim slid in and out at a leisurely pace, watching Dib’s pained expression change into one of pleasure. The Irken chewed his lip with anticipation and pushed in another finger, less gently this time. Dib sucked in another sharp breath as he was suddenly stretched, bucking his hips up to push Zim’s fingers in deeper. “Ahh… Ziiiim…” Dib moaned when the alien’s fingertips lightly pressed against his prostate. Zim could barely restrain himself from thrusting into the boy. “Do you want Zim inside you?” The alien purred, his breath ghosting across Dib’s flushed cheeks. “Yes… oh, God, yes… I want you…” Dib panted, breathless with desire. Zim’s lips curved into a sultry grin and he positioned the tip of his length at Dib’s entrance.  
  
And then it happened: Dib’s cellphone rang. He knew it was Gaz. All Dib’s pleasure and lust turned into shocked fear. Dib had completely forgotten today was the day he was supposed to go out for pizza with his dad and sister. “God fucking dammit!” he yelled, facepalming as he snatched his cellphone off the bedside table. “Where the  _fuck_  are you?! I’m gonna kill you if you’re not here in five minutes, shithead! It’s almost three o’clock!” Gaz snarled through the phone. “I-I’ll be right there!” Dib snapped at her and hung up, jumping off the bed. Needless to say, Zim was not amused by this rude interruption. “Dib-beast! What on Irk are you doing?!”  
  
Dib hurriedly put some clothes on, feeling like a total jerk for doing this. “Gaz is gonna kick my ass if I don’t go out to eat with her and Dad!” he explained. “You can come if you want. Wait, actually that’s probably a terrible idea. You hate Earth food, anyway…” Dib rambled on. He quickly pulled on his long black coat and grabbed his cellphone. “I’ll be back later!” The boy ran out of the bedroom, leaving Zim on the bed, seething. He angrily snatched up his clothes and got dressed, donning his human disguise and leaving through the window he entered the night before.


	11. Chapter 11

Dib arrived at Bloaty’s Pizza just in time, sitting across the table from Gaz, who simply glared at her brother. He took of his coat and Gaz raised an eyebrow. “Is that a  _hickey_?” she scoffed, staring at the mark on the side of Dib’s neck. Dib quickly pulled out his phone to check his reflection on the dark screen. His cheeks turned red; it was a hickey, alright. Dib facepalmed and put the phone back in his pocket. “Oh my God, why didn’t I tell him not to do that?” Dib asked himself aloud. Gaz sniggered at him, but Dib’s thoughts turned to his boyfriend.  _Oh, crap… I hope Zim’s not too mad that I had to leave him like that… but he knows how awful Gaz can be… he should understand…_  
  
Professor Membrane arrived a few minutes later and sat next to his daughter. The family ordered a pizza and the professor babbled on about his latest invention, something about super-super-glue. The food arrived shortly after and Gaz snatched up the cheesiest slice, smirking when Membrane asked how their day went. Gaz answered first. “I beat my old high score on Vampire Piggy Hunter. Dib skipped school and slept with Zim,” she replied, taking a bite of her pizza. “What?! Is that true, son?!” Membrane gasped. Dib felt his soul wither up and die inside, and so began one of the most awkward meals in history…  
  
Back at Zim’s base, the alien was busy making modifications to his pak’s sleep functions. “Computer! Analyze the nightmare data!” Zim commanded. A few moments later the computer announced the result. “Analysis complete. Dream sequence manifested from subconscious fears.” Zim frowned and quickly typed something. Another wire plugged itself into Zim’s pak and he quickly fell asleep.  
  
About an hour later the procedure was complete. Zim woke up and stretched. “There. That should disable my ability to ‘dream’ while sleeping.” Zim disconnected his pak from the computer and went to the ground level of the base, where Gir was eating greasy popcorn and watching television. The Irken rolled his eyes at a ridiculous commercial but sat down on the couch anyway.  
  
“WEEEE HEHE!” Gir squealed when the soap opera came back on. ‘And now back to… Sex and Love: A Sexy Love Story,’ the narrator spoke in a sultry tone. “A Sexy Love Story?” Zim scoffed, laughing at the stupidity of human entertainment. His defective SIR simply shushed him and pointed to the screen.  
  
‘But Filipe! I didn’t mean it! I only love  _you_!’ A busty woman cried out desperately, squirming out from underneath some random pretty-boy to chase after her husband, naked. Dramatic music played in the background, and the camera zoomed in on a slow-mo shot of her fake boobs bouncing around as she ran. “ _Ewww_ … they’re so squishy looking…” Zim made little disgusted noises and decided to visit Dib instead of watching this garbage. He donned his disguise and walked to Dib’s house.  
  
Zim used his pak arms to climb up to Dib’s bedroom. The boy was sitting at his desk, facing away from the window. Zim smirked and tapped on the glass before darting out of sight. “Zim?” Dib got up and went to investigate, but when he opened the window, no one was around. “Hmm. Must be hearing things…” Dib shrugged and went back to his desk to do homework. Zim peaked back into the room and grinned. The Irken silently opened the window and snuck up behind Dib. “Hello, Dib-mate,” he whispered into the human’s ear. Dib nearly jumped out of his chair.  
  
“GAHH! Jesus, Zim! You’re such an asshole!” Dib stood up and gave Zim a halfhearted shove. The alien just laughed at his boyfriend’s reaction. Dib frowned. “I’m serious Zim! See this?” Dib pointed to the mark on his neck. “Impressive, isn’t it?” Zim grinned smugly.  
  
“What? N-no! Gaz saw it and now my dad knows about us! You know how embarrassing that was?!  _And_  I had to make up an excuse for why I missed school today ‘cause of you!” Dib snapped at the Irken, who could barely contain his laughter. “Dad went on and on about how I was _always_  the ‘problem child’ and now I broke my perfect attendance record. Oh, and apparently it’s just fine that Gaz has a girlfriend but me dating  _anybody_  makes me even more of a disappointment as a son. Something about how I’m supposed to get over my insanity one day and marry science. I had to listen to that ridiculous bullshit because of you!” Dib ranted.  
  
Zim laughed so hard he had tears in his eyes. Dib crossed his arms and frowned again. “Oh, yeah, it’s real hilarious,” he huffed. Zim eventually stopped laughing and a mischievous grin spread across his face. He wrapped his arms around Dib’s waist and licked the boy’s lips. “You should be happy I didn’t come here to punish you for leaving me earlier, Dib-thing…” The Irken slid his hands down Dib’s lower back and into the pockets of his jeans. Zim pulled the human close, pressing their bodies together. Dib tried to stay mad at the alien but it was no use; he wanted Zim just as badly as Zim wanted him. Dib sighed in defeat and wrapped his arms around the Irken.  
  
“I didn’t want to leave you like that, Zim…” Dib spoke quietly, “I  _really_  wanted you inside me… I still do…”  The words made Zim’s body tremble with excitement. He could already feel his slit getting wet out of desire for his human. Dib leaned in and kissed Zim passionately, only pulling away to look Zim in the eyes. “Take off your disguise, first. I wanna see you.” Dib took off Zim’s wig and the alien removed his contacts, setting them on Dib’s desk.  
  
“Is your sister unit home?” Zim asked, lustfully licking the boy’s neck. “No, she went to Peg’s house. We’re all alone, so we can be as loud as we want,” Dib smirked. “Perfect…” Zim eagerly pulled off Dib’s shirt and unbuttoned his jeans. The Irken took Dib by the hand and tugged him over to the bed, where Dib lied back and watched Zim with anticipation. Zim took off his own shirt and removed his black gloves with his teeth, grinning as he straddled his boyfriend.  
  
The alien leaned over and kissed Dib, a torturously slow, heart pounding kiss that left the boy breathless. “Zim will make you  _scream_ , Dib-mate…” he growled, reaching down and slipping a hand into Dib’s pants. Dib moaned as Zim stroked and squeezed his member, all the while ravishing his bare chest with licks and kisses.  
  
Zim kissed his way down Dib’s body and licked just below the boy’s navel, making Dib moan even louder. Zim grinned, purring as the human petted his sensitive antennae with both hands. He pulled off the rest of Dib’s clothes and swirled his tongue around the tip of Dib’s length. The boy arched his back at the sensation. “Oh, Zim… I want you… so bad…” Dib panted.  
  
“Zim wants you, as well, Dib-thing… but because you made Zim wait, you’ll have to wait…” Zim teased him. Dib raised an eyebrow at the sadistic Irken. “You just want me to beg for it, don’t you?” the boy questioned. Zim simply grinned at him and wrapped his long tongue around Dib’s member, squeezing it. Dib quivered with disappointment when Zim’s tongue quickly slid back into his mouth. “You  _will_  beg, my husband…” Zim licked his fingers and pressed them against Dib’s tight entrance. “Ahhh… Ziiiim…” the human moaned, biting his bottom lip; Zim was right, he did want this badly enough to beg for it.  
  
Dib cringed every time Zim would start to slip a finger inside and then pull away. Zim smirked at the frustrated expression on Dib’s face. He took off the rest of his clothes to expose his wet length. “Do you want this?” Zim teased, grinding his hard member against Dib’s ass. “Yes…” Dib could only take so much teasing before desire took over. He reached down to touch Zim but the alien grabbed his wrist with a smirk. A metal arm emerged from his pak and pinned Dib’s wrists above his head, making Dib groan in aggravation. “Gahh… dammit, Zim… I really,  _really_ want it…” Zim smiled and leaned over Dib to kiss him. “Tell Zim what you want, Dib-beast…” Zim loved the desperate look of need in Dib’s hazel eyes.  
  
“I want to feel you… deep inside me… feel you thrust into me… please, Zim… I want you…” Dib panted, not even caring if he sounded ridiculous or pathetic. Zim grinned and released Dib’s wrists, satisfied with Dib’s pleading but also aching to be inside his lover. The Irken rubbed his wet slit to lubricate his fingers and slowly pushed one into Dib, but the boy stopped him. “No. Just give it to me. I don’t wanna wait any more…” Dib insisted. Zim didn’t argue, he just smirked wickedly and aligned himself with Dib’s entrance. “As you wish, Dib-mate…”  
  
Zim pushed his dripping wet length fully inside and Dib cried out. It hurt but felt amazing all at once, and when Zim started to move, it felt even better. The pain quickly faded away. “Ahh, Zim!” Dib moaned loudly. Zim thrusted in and out of him, groaning with pleasure. “Ooohh… so t-tight…” He lifted Dib’s hips, changing the angle and hitting a spot that made Dib scream. “OH, FUCK, ZIM! RIGHT THERE!” Dib gripped the bedsheets for dear life as Zim slammed into the spot over and over again, pressing against the boy’s prostate.  
  
“ _Harder!_ ” Dib groaned, and the alien thrusted into him mercilessly, moaning in pleasure. The tight heat of Dib’s body surrounding Zim’s length felt like heaven, quickly pushing him closer to sweet release. “Oh… Dib-mate… so close…” Zim moaned, his hip movements getting erratic as the pleasure consumed all his senses. Dib reached down and pumped his member, feeling his orgasm approaching fast. “Ah, Zim! I’m gonna-- OH! ZIM!” Dib cried out, his seed spilling onto his stomach. Zim thrusted a few more times before he came as well, moaning Dib’s name as he filled his human with semen.  
  
They both stayed like that for a while, panting from the intensity of it all, then Zim slowly slipped out of Dib and kissed him sweetly before lying next to him. Dib grabbed a tissue and wiped off the sticky white mess on his stomach. He rolled on his side to face Zim and felt the alien’s seed deep inside him. “Mmm… I can feel it… inside me… so hot…” The human panted, gently stroking Zim’s antenna. The Irken was unusually quiet, save for the contented purrs vibrating his throat. “That was… ahh… really great…” Dib was genuinely surprised it felt as good as it did. He expected it to hurt a lot more, but it was just amazing. “Mhmm…” Zim muttered, lips curved into a satisfied smile.   
  
Zim closed his eyes and snuggled up against Dib, who was also about to drift off to sleep when he realized the Irken’s purple seed was leaking out of him. Who knows what kind of stain that would leave on the sheets. Dib got out of bed and found a bathrobe. “I’m uh, just gonna take a quick shower, okay?” Zim was already asleep, his breaths slow and even. “Heh, okay then.” Dib pulled a blanket over his boyfriend and kissed him on the cheek. The alien made a little noise, antennae twitching.  
  
Dib watched him sleep with adoration. “I love you.” Dib smiled, then his brain actually processed what came out of his mouth. “Fuck, did I really just say that?” He looked at Zim and sighed with relief; the Irken was sound asleep. Dib walked out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him.  
  
It was only when Dib stepped out of the shower that he realized the significance of the three words that slipped out. “Wait… do I actually…? No. We’ve only been together for like, a day. What the hell am I thinking? Is it even possible to fall in love with someone that quickly?” Dib asked himself aloud while drying his hair. “Maybe I’m just overthinking this. Well, at least he didn’t hear me say it…” Dib wrapped a towel around his hips and returned to his room.


	12. Chapter 12

Zim was still asleep when Dib entered the bedroom. The Irken had the sheet pulled over his head, and Dib smiled when he noticed Zim’s antennae poking out from beneath the fabric. “I’ll just let him sleep so I can actually get some work done…” Dib finished drying off and tossed the damp towel onto the doorknob. He heard a rustling noise and glanced over at Zim, who rolled over in his sleep. “I hope he doesn’t have another nightmare…” Dib thought aloud while getting dressed. He sat at his desk and sighed when he realized just how much crap he had to do. It was overwhelming. “Damn. I guess I should get started.”  
  
It took Dib almost two hours to complete all the math problems. He shut the huge Calculus book and put it in his backpack, taking out some papers first so they wouldn’t get crushed. Dib put the backpack aside and sifted through the papers, stopping when he realized that one of them was an assignment for his Creative Writing class. The story had to be at least ten pages long and could be any genre, but it had to be about the person writing it. The teacher assigned it a week ago. It was now due the next day.  
  
“Oh my fucking God! I totally forgot about that!” Dib spazzed out. “How the hell am I gonna write ten pages in one night?! I’m so screwed!” His outburst woke up a certain sleeping alien. “Stop yelling, Dib-stink! It’s annoying!” Zim snapped. Dib had forgotten Zim was still asleep in his bed. “Oh, uh, sorry…” Dib turned on his laptop and opened a blank word document, desperately trying to think of something to write about. Zim rubbed his eyes and got out of bed to go bother his mate. He put his pants on before walking up behind Dib.  
  
“Entertain me, Dib-beast.” The Irken demanded, poking Dib’s head. “I’m busy. Entertain yourself.” Dib huffed. Zim raised a brow at Dib, who was just sitting in front of his laptop, not actually typing. “But you’re not doing anything.” Dib sighed. “I’m trying to think of what to write!” The boy turned to face Zim and realized the alien was half naked. Dib facepalmed and looked away, trying to suppress the urge to just forget about his homework and grab Zim instead.  _How am I supposed to concentrate like this?_  Dib thought, banging his head against the desk. “Don’t you have homework to do, too?”  
  
The alien laughed at Dib’s question. “Foolish Earth boy! Zim never does homework! I simply upload data on a subject to my pak when necessary to take those stupid tests, and that is enough to pass.” Zim stated smugly. “I wish my brain worked like your pak…” Dib stared at the textless screen on the laptop. “And I wish this damn story would write itself.”  
  
Zim draped his arms around Dib’s shoulders and licked his neck, making the boy shiver. “Zim, I can’t. I really need to get this done.” Dib insisted, trying to ignore the fact that Zim was still naked. “Then why aren’t you typing?!” Zim questioned, getting annoyed. “‘Cause I have to write a ten page story about myself but my I have no ideas!”  
  
“Zim does not understand why this is so difficult! Just write about paranormal stuff, Dib-thing! Or write about us! It’s not that hard!” The Irken snapped. Dib felt like an idiot for not thinking of that. His childhood was weirder than any fiction he’d ever read. He grinned and spun around in his rolly chair to pull Zim into a kiss. “You’re a genius! This is gonna be so easy!” Dib turned to his laptop and thought of where to begin; he decided to just start from the beginning, when Zim arrived on Earth. Zim laughed evilly. “Of course I’m a genius! Zim is superior in every way!”  
  
Dib rolled his eyes and continued typing. Zim was still Zim, after all. “Go be superior on the other side of the room, space boy,” he snarked, the keyboard clicking beneath his fingertips, “I have to finish this paper tonight and you’re distracting me.” A cynical grin crept across Zim’s face. He grabbed the back of Dib’s chair and spun him around. “Zim! Come on! Let me write my--!” Zim cut him off with a forceful kiss. “You’re my mate now, Dib-beast. I can distract you as much as I want,” Zim kissed him again, biting his bottom lip. It took all of Dib’s self control to push Zim away.  
  
“Seriously, Zim! I need to get this done! I don’t want to start failing my classes ‘cause my boyfriend won’t let me do homework!” Dib snapped. Zim glared at him. “Fine, Dib-thing. Zim will leave you alone.” The alien put on the rest of his clothes and was about to leave out the window when he remembered something. Zim went over to Dib and kissed him on the lips. It was short and sweet, which caught Dib off guard. He gave Zim a strange look, to which the Irken responded, “Boyfriends kiss goodbye, do they not?” And with that Zim climbed out the window.


	13. Chapter 13

Dib got a warm fuzzy feeling from the affectionate gesture and couldn’t help but smile. He turned back to the laptop and continued typing…  
  
“It’s finally done!” Dib exclaimed, utterly exhausted. The story ended up being twelve pages long because of all the crazy stuff there was to write about. He printed out the story and put it in his backpack. “Now I can sleep…” Dib yawned and stumbled over to the bed. The alarm went off the moment Dib’s head hit the pillow. “Oh, fuck my life.”  
  
The sleep deprived teen forced himself through his morning routine, occasionally slapping his own face in an effort to stay alert. He grabbed his backpack and went downstairs. Gaz was already in the kitchen. She took one glance at her brother and raised an eyebrow. “Wow, Dib. You look even more horrible than usual.” Dib ignored her and poured a glass of juice, too tired to feel hungry. Today was going to be a  _very_ long day.  
  
At skool, Dib’s first two classes bored him even more than usual, and they dragged on for what felt like hours. Then came Calculus, arguably the most boring subject in existence. Dib sighed and sat in his assigned seat at the very end of the front row. He rested his head on the desk while everyone else shuffled into the room. “Hello, Dib-mate.” The familiar voice startled Dib and he turned to look at his boyfriend.  
  
“Oh, hi Zim,” Dib smiled sleepily, not even caring that the other kids were giving them weird looks after hearing Zim call him ‘Dib-mate.’ Zim sat next to Dib instead of his usual seat. “You’re not sitting in the back?” Dib questioned as he yawned. “No. Zim wants to be near the Dib-beast,” the Irken grinned.  _Heh, he’s so cute…_  Dib thought. If Dib wasn’t so tired, he would’ve remembered whose desk Zim was taking. “Get outta my seat, punk,” one of the skool bullies glared down at Zim. His name was Todd. Zim now hated this human even more than the vast majority, as he was the one who mainly tormented Dib in middle skool.  
  
The alien in disguise stood up and was about to start yelling when Dib’s exhausted brain-to-mouth filter made a serious error. “Leave him alone, creep. You never pay attention anyway, so you might as well sit in the back,” Dib snarked. “You little shit!” Todd raised his fist. The teacher arrived just before a fight broke out between the three of them. “What the hell’s going on here?!” she snapped, and the room froze. Ms Valentina was not someone to be messed with.  
  
“This stupid green punk took my seat to sit next to his  _boyfriend_!” Todd griped. The teacher looked at Zim, who was standing protectively in front of Dib, then she spoke to Todd. “Well, he can keep your seat. I’m tired of seeing your face in the front row. In the back, Todd.” Ms Valentina pointed to Zim’s empty seat. The boy glared at Zim and Dib before moving to his new desk. “Yes! Victory for Zim!” The Irken announced, sitting in his rightful place next to his boyfriend. Dib snickered, trying not to yawn for the hundredth time that day.  
  
The bell rang, signaling the beginning of class. Ms Valentina stood at the chalkboard with her back turned to the class and lectured about the sine and cosine of negative imaginary derivatives or some nonsense. Dib could barely pay attention. Zim doodled and flicked perverted little notes at Dib’s head. Dib eventually picked one up and looked over at Zim, raising an eyebrow at the alien. Zim just smirked and glanced down at the note before returning his gaze to Dib’s face, as if to say, ‘open it, stink-brain!’  
  
Dib rolled his tired eyes and unfolded the note, but once he read it, Dib blushed profusely and stuffed the paper in his pocket. God knows what the teacher would say if she saw the obscene things written on it. He also hid the unread notes and hoped that Ms Valentina didn’t notice them already. Zim sniggered at the embarrassed look on Dib’s face but pretended he was paying attention when the teacher turned around and glared at him.  
  
The rest of Calculus was relatively uneventful, and Dib could barely keep his eyes open during Creative Writing, although he felt quite proud of his story when he passed it in, smiling as he thought of Zim. The Irken’s day was boring as well, though he did manage to pull the bully Todd aside after math class. A spiderleg emerged from Zim’s pak and pinned the human against a locker, the point resting on Todd’s throat. Zim glowered at him before giving his first and only warning to the foolish boy. “If you  _ever_  go near my Dib-mate again, I will destroy you! Filthy worm!” Zim snarled. He retracted the mechanical limb into his pak and walked off to class, leaving Todd petrified like the coward he truly was. The boy knew from the evil look in Zim’s eyes that the weird green kid wasn’t bluffing.  
  
By the time lunch came around, Dib felt like complete crap. Pulling an all-nighter really took a toll on him. He didn’t bother with food, just sat at his usual table across from Gaz and Peg, who took one look at Dib and raised an eyebrow. “Shit, dude, what happened to you?” Peg asked. Dib just blinked sleepily and rested his head on the table. “Zim happened,” Gaz smirked, fingers skillfully dancing across the buttons of her Game Slave. Peg turned to her girlfriend in surprise. “Wait, wait, you mean Dib and Zim are--”  
  
“Yep.” Gaz replied. “Hello, Dib-thing,” Zim sat next to Dib and flicked his arm to get the boy’s attention. Dib grumbled and raised his head. “Not now, Zim,” Dib rubbed his tired eyes, “I didn’t get any sleep and I feel like shit.” The Irken grinned. “Zim knows how to make the Dib-beast feel better.” Zim put a hand on Dib’s cheek and tilted his head to kiss him on the lips. Dib didn’t fight it, he simply melted into the kiss, completely forgetting where he was. Peg was amazed. She figured the two morons would never realize they actually liked each other.  
  
After several seconds there were a few loud gasps, then the lunchroom quickly fell silent as everyone looked Zim and Dib. The Irken ended the kiss and Dib smiled at him. “Heh, I do kinda feel better.” Zim smirked and ran his fingers through Dib’s messy hair. “GAY!” Someone shouted out. The pair glanced around the lunchroom and realized everyone was staring at them. “Well, yeah! It’s kinda obvious, idiot! Zim’s my boyfriend!” Dib yelled out and laughed, surprised by how much he didn’t give a shit. More kids gasped at the open confession of their relationship. Zim jumped up on the table and glared at everyone. “We’re completely normal human love pigs! Nothing to see here!” Zim announced angrily.  
  
A moment later, the usual lunchroom chatter resumed and Zim sat back down next to Dib, who smiled happily at the alien and kissed him on the cheek. “Rest, Dib-thing. I don’t want you to be tired later. You read all the notes, yes?” Zim smirked. “Oh yeah, I read them. You’re so lucky the teacher didn’t notice them. She would’ve flipped if she saw what you wrote.” Dib replied with a grin. Zim chuckled deviously as the tired boy rested his head on the table. He slipped an arm under Dib’s long coat and around his waist, and they stayed like that for the remainder of lunch.  
  
The skool bell rang about twenty minutes later, which meant lunch was over. Zim repeatedly poked Dib’s head to wake him up. The exhausted boy blinked and straightened his glasses. Zim raised a brow when he noticed the dark smudges under his mate’s eyes “Uh, Zim?” Dib questioned when the alien lightly touched his bottom eyelid. “These marks appeared because you didn’t sleep?” Zim asked. “Yeah,” Dib stood up and yawned. “Sometimes I wish I didn’t need to sleep…” he thought aloud, walking off to Anatomy.  
  
Zim went to his next class, as well, but Dib’s simple comment got him thinking about how awful it must be to be human. Halfway through class Zim decided the single worst aspect of being human was aging. Then he realized something even worse, that the human body deteriorates to a useless state in less than one tenth of an Irken’s lifetime. His mate would die long before himself. The thought made Zim’s squeedly-spooch go sour, and he was determined to find a way to even out their lifespans, otherwise their relationship would have an expiration date…


	14. Chapter 14

A stampede of teenagers erupted from the front doors of the skool. “Woohoo! It’s Friday! Only two weeks left ‘til summer vacation!” A girl yelled out. Others cheered along with her.  
  
Dib went home and straight to bed, falling asleep moments after his head hit the pillow. Zim got to his base and went down to the lab to brainstorm ways to lengthen Dib’s pitiful human lifespan. He knew Dib wouldn’t want to be changed from human to Irken, if that was even possible. He had taken several paks from the Irken casualties of Operation Impending Doom, as they contain useful technology, but putting a pak on Dib would kill him. Altering a pak to make it usable on a different species had never been done before, and Zim had no idea how long it would take to create a human-compatible pak. Even if he did manage to make one for Dib, it was unlikely the human would want to wear the alien device. It took a while, but eventually the perfect idea came to mind. “Yes! That’s it! Ingenious!” Zim praised himself.  
  
The complicated engineering took hours to design, and coding all the complex functions would take weeks, possibly months, to perfect. Trials had to be performed, tests run, adjustments made; it was going to be quite a tedious task. “I don’t even know why aging happens,” Zim grumbled, realizing he needed to become an expert on human physiology and biochemistry before continuing with the project. He decided to work on a simple monitoring device before dealing with something so complicated.  
  
After all, it’s not as if Dib was in danger of an imminent anatomical catastrophe.  
  
Back at the Membrane household, Dib awoke to the sound of Gaz banging on his bedroom door. “Get down here, Dib! It’s time to eat!” The purple haired girl yelled at her brother. “Okay!” Dib sat up and yawned, still feeling exhausted. He wasn’t really hungry, but he put on his glasses and went downstairs anyway. Gaz and Peg were already eating. The blue haired girl had gotten Chinese food and rented a few movies before coming over to see Gaz, and she was nice enough to get extra for Dib.  
  
“Here ya go,  _Romeo_ ,” Peg teased the boy, handing him a carton of noodles and chopsticks. “Thanks,” Dib rolled his eyes. The girl smiled. “No, really. I’m happy for you guys. It’s about time you got together.” Peg took a bite of her food before starting the movie. It appeared to be a suspenseful horror or adventure film, something Dib wasn’t in the mood for. He went to the kitchen, got a soda, and headed back upstairs.  
  
Dib nudged his bedroom door open with his foot and kicked it shut behind him. He sat at his desk and started eating, feeling slightly more alert than when he first woke up. The boy absentmindedly surveyed all the stuff on his desk while he ate; he noticed the laptop and thought of Zim. “Hmm, I wonder what he’s up to…” Dib thought aloud, switching on the dusty old monitoring system he used to spy on Zim years ago.   
  
The machine powered on and the screen flickered to life, showing live video of every room in Zim’s base. Dib noticed movement coming from Zim’s lab, but it was just Gir playing with dolls or something. No sign of the alien. “That’s weird. It’s not like he has somewhere to be on a Friday night. Well, I guess he could be  _here_ , but he’s not, so…” Dib trailed off with a shrug and finished eating. He changed into pajama bottoms and a t-shirt to get comfortable, then got a notebook and sat on his bed to doodle a bit before going to sleep.  
  
The tip of Dib’s pencil idly skimmed across the paper’s surface, leaving faint curves that collectively resembled a pair of shining eyes. Alien eyes. He’d barely finished shading one of them when a tapping noise got his attention.  
  
Dib looked in the direction the sound came from and saw Zim outside his window. He smiled at the sight of his boyfriend. “There’s a front door, ya know,” Dib teased while Zim entered the room on his spiderlegs. The Irken didn’t say anything, he simply wrapped his arms around Dib’s shoulders and leaned in for a kiss, straddling the boy’s thighs. “Mmm…” Dib moaned softly against Zim’s lips.  
  
Zim easily slipped a hand under Dib’s shirt and caressed his skin with gloved fingertips. The sensual touch awakened Dib’s tired senses. He eagerly pulled Zim’s body up against his, kissing the Irken passionately. Dib slowly pulled away and smiled, looking Zim in the eyes. “I’m glad you showed up. I was seriously about to fall asleep,” he chuckled, tossing the notebook and pencil to the floor. A playful smirk upturned the corner of Zim’s mouth. “Then it’s a good thing Zim is here to keep you busy all night, hmm?”  
  
“Heh, I don’t think I can go all night on a few hours of sleep, Zim.” Dib was just being honest, but as he watched Zim take off his human disguise to show his true alien self, Dib started to question his own honesty. Something about the Irken’s eyes drew him in for another kiss. Clothes fell to the floor and the bed rocked with the movement of their bodies until they both reached blissful release. Dib was about to fall asleep when he heard Zim’s voice.  
  
“Oh, I almost forgot about your present, Dib-thing.” Dib raised an eyebrow and blinked sleepily, postcoital relaxation making it hard to stay awake. “Present? You know it’s not my birthday, right?” The Irken scoffed at Dib’s ignorant question and extracted something from his pak. Zim grabbed Dib’s hand and gently placed a small metal object on the boy’s palm. Dib put on his glasses and flicked on the bedside lamp to see.  
  
It looked like strips of platinum and gold that were meticulously coiled, flattened, and adorned with tiny, multicolored gems that Dib didn't recognize. “What the…?” He stared at the beautiful ring and then looked to Zim for an explanation. “You love it, yes?” Zim smiled proudly at his creation. Dib felt anxious. “Y-yes. What’s it for?” Zim smoothly took the ring from Dib’s hand and slipped it on the correct finger, a lazy grin on his face when he looked up at the boy. “It’s for you, my Dib-human. Zim made it just for you,” Zim’s expression grew more serious, “it’s very important to me that you always wear it. You must promise Zim you’ll never take it off.”  
  
There was nothing playful about the look in Zim’s eyes now, as if the situation was suddenly of life or death importance. Dib glanced down to further inspect the ring. It really was marvelous. He swallowed hard and entwined his fingers with the Irken’s, managing a tired smile. “I promise, Zim. I won’t take it off. I love it…” Dib held it up closer to the light and tilted his hand to better appreciate the colors of the gems. “It’s almost as pretty as you,” he cooed, cupping Zim’s cheek with his now jewelry-adorned hand and kissing the alien’s lips. Zim purred with smug satisfaction at his success as well as Dib’s compliment. “Nothing compares to the amazingness of Zim,” he stated without much conviction. Dib simply kissed his lover on the cheek and quickly fell asleep, too tired to notice when Zim got out of bed, dressed, and left through the window.


	15. Chapter 15

Zim went straight home and down to his underground base. He sat in front of a large monitor displaying Dib’s vital signs, all the biological data being collected by the ring on Dib’s finger. “Yeees, it works perfectly!” The Irken snickered. He then ordered the computer to access all relevant knowledge regarding human biology, as well as deciphering Dib’s overall health. After a few hours of processing the information, Zim came to the conclusion that cell division and rejuvenation proved to be the key to lengthening a human’s lifespan. 

“These… _telomeres_ at the ends of every DNA strand… they are useless codes that shorten with each cell division… but they protect the important DNA from degradation… it all makes sense now!” Zim exclaimed, hopping up on his chair. “Yes, now I can program these nanobots to monitor and repair the Dib’s cells…”

Two months passed, and Dib was still unsuspecting of his boyfriend’s plan to lengthen his life span. Zim was nearly ready to begin human trials with the nanobots. The pair mainly spent time in Dib’s room, where Zim didn’t have to wear a disguise. The presence of GIR and the lack of a bed at Zim’s base also made Dib’s house the obvious place to spend time together.

On this particular day, Dib felt like reading a mystery novel, and Zim soon got bored. “How long is this going to take?” the alien groaned impatiently. Dib rolled his eyes. “I just started reading like ten minutes ago,” he sighed and pointed over to his small bookshelf. “Go find something to read. Then you won’t be bored.” Zim glanced at the collection of books and grumbled as he extended an arm from his pak to grab one.

“Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark?” Zim questioned aloud. “Yeah, those are great true stories. I loved ‘em as a kid. I gotta warn you, though. Some of them are pretty scary.” Dib was lying about the stories being true, of course, but Zim didn’t need to know that just yet. “Zim isn’t afraid of anything, Dib-stink!” The Irken opened the book and began reading, a determined look on his face. _That should keep him busy for a while_ , Dib thought to himself with a smirk. He propped a pillow behind his back and got comfortable while Zim read a story about a girl with a green ribbon tied around her neck…

“No you stupid hyooman don’t pull it--! Gah! HER HEAD FELL OFF!” Zim screamed, squirming closer to Dib, who tried his best not to laugh at Zim’s reaction. “Try the next one.”

Zim started to read the next short story and gave the book a questioning stare. “Why was there a filthy human toe in the garden?” Zim asked. Dib just smirked. “Just keep reading…” Dib took a peek at Zim, who made a hilariously disgusted face as he read. “They… they _ate_ it…” Zim said in horror. Dib tried his best not to laugh at the look of disgust on Zim’s face, but he couldn’t help snickering. Zim looked up at Dib and glared. “These aren’t true stories, Dib-worm! YOU LIED TO ZIM!” The Irken tossed the book at Dib’s head. Dib just kept laughing.

The Irken growled at his human mate and shoved him off the bed. “Ow! What was that for?!” Dib rubbed his elbow, which harshly broke the fall. He got back onto the bed and realized Zim wasn’t even amused by his pain, which meant he was actually pissed off. Dib sighed. “Don’t be like that. You know I’m just teasing,” he lovingly stroked Zim’s antenna, the cold metal of Dib’s ring making Zim shiver. The alien grumbled and looked away, crossing his arms like a fussy child. Dib rolled his eyes at the immature display. “Just go back to your house if you’re really that mad at me.”

Zim glanced sideways at the hazel-eyed boy. “No, Zim shall stay,” he smirked, his pak arm reaching for another book. _So bipolar_ , Dib wanted to say. He also didn’t want Zim to push him off the bed again, so he stayed quiet and continued reading. The mystery novel held his attention, and he didn’t notice Zim snickering at the book in his three-digited hands until the snickers grew into hysterical laughter.

Dib raised an eyebrow and looked over to see what Zim was laughing at. “Is that my…?” To his utter embarrassment, Zim had grabbed his old alien observation log that he started shortly after Zim had come to Earth. It was full of notes and pictures and Dib’s weird, disturbing inner thoughts about Zim. “Hey! Why are you reading that?!” Dib snatched it away, leaving Zim cackling like a psychopath from what he just read.

Dib flipped through the book with disdain, his back turned to Zim. He stopped on one of the pages and skimmed over what he’d written almost six years ago. “Oh my God…” Dib facepalmed himself for leaving something so embarrassing in a place obvious enough for Zim to find it. The Irken grinned and gently dragged his claws down Dib’s back. “I never knew just how much you tried to spy on me, Dib-thing. Your desire to gaze upon the amazing Zim is insatiable, yes?” Dib rolled his eyes. “Just kiss me already.”

The raven-haired boy completely forgot about the mystery novel he wanted to read earlier. Zim sucked his bottom lip and lifted his shirt, briefly breaking the kiss to pull it off the human. He also yanked off his black gloves and greedily ran his hands over Dib’s bare chest and shoulders. Dib tugged at Zim’s clothes as they kissed. The smooth green skin silently demanded to be touched. Dib wanted to feel every inch of it…

“Oh, Zim… so gorgeous… your eyes, your skin, your… ahh, I just love your whole body…” Dib ran his hands over the alien’s slender frame. He slowly lowered himself onto Zim’s length. The Irken shuddered with pleasure as Dib’s tight heat engulfed him. “Mmmm, Dib-beast…” Zim grabbed the boy’s hips to move him up and down, sliding in and out. Dib felt like he was in heaven, feeling Zim’s eyes looking over each part of him, hearing the low sounds escaping Zim’s throat.

“Ahh… Zim… what’s your… ohhh, favorite part of me?” Dib panted. Zim didn’t have to think long to answer that. “Your mouth… it pleases Zim… in so many ways…” Zim thrusted his hips upward, making Dib moan loudly, “and it makes such… ah, wonderful noises…” the Irken groaned. Dib didn’t expect that answer, but he was certainly happy with it, and it made his orgasm all the sweeter knowing how much Zim enjoyed hearing him scream with pleasure.

Zim came soon after, grabbing Dib’s hips to hold him in place as he filled the human with his seed. “Mmm… you should compliment Zim more often,” the Irken purred happily. Dib cleaned up some of their mess and lied down next to Zim, chuckling at Zim’s comment as he pulled a blanket over their naked bodies.

“How the hell did I fall for such a narcissistic alien menace? I really must be crazy.” Dib thought aloud, smirking at the alien. “You tell me, husband. How'd that happen, hmm?” Zim grinned. “I’m your _boyfriend_ , not your husband!” Dib corrected him, cheeks blushing. Zim held Dib close and licked his ear. “Would you like to be?” Zim asked. The human pulled away to look at Zim in disbelief. “W-what?”

“Would the Dib-beast want to be Zim’s husband unit?!” he snapped, getting impatient with his mate. “I… a-are you asking me to _marry_ you? We’ve only been together for a couple months!” Dib exclaimed, suddenly feeling a bit nervous. Zim sighed, clearly annoyed with Dib’s pitiful human logic. “It’s not like we just met! And I already heard you say you love Zim! Isn’t it customary for your people to do the marriage thing when they love each other?!”

Dib’s heart almost stopped. “You _heard_ me say that?! But I thought you were asleep!” Zim simply grinned deviously at the boy, but then the rest of Zim’s words finally registered in Dib’s head. “Wait… you said when they love _each other_ ,” Dib smirked, “that must mean you--”

“SILENCE! ZIM SAID NOTHING!” The Irken flailed his arms, cheeks darkening. Dib just laughed, happy he wasn’t the only one being embarrassed today. He hugged his lover, who tried to wriggle out of his grasp. The alien huffed in frustration, his cheeks tinted dark green. Zim stopped struggling and relaxed in Dib’s arms, gazing into the human’s hazel eyes.

“We don’t even need to get married to prove our bond, Zim. And besides, I think the ring you made for me is better than any wedding ring,” he smiled at the Irken. Dib’s sentimental words made Zim’s insides tingle. He never imagined that Irkens could have such feelings, but as he looked at his human’s smiling face, a surreal, pleasant warmth filled his chest.

“Does the Dib-beast really love Zim?” The alien didn’t know why he asked it, or why he cared what the answer would be, but he did nonetheless. Dib blinked and blushed and held Zim tightly in his arms. “Yes… I love you, Zim.” Never in a million years would Dib have suspected those words to come out of his own mouth. Even more amazing was that he really meant them.

Zim returned the unusually tender embrace. “I love you as well, Dib-mate. You’re the only being that can appreciate Zim’s greatness. You make Zim very happy…”

Dib could hardly believe his ears. Zim loved him. After all those years of twisted rivalry and obsession, all the threats and hatred… it really didn’t make any sense. Of all the humans on Earth and aliens in the galaxy, Zim wanted to be his. Dib didn’t know how to feel or what to think, but he suddenly wanted to go somewhere far away. He wanted to see all the mysteries of the universe with Zim by his side, and he decided that their love didn’t have to make sense for it to be just what they needed all along.

~FIN~


End file.
